DV

First of all, I have to make note of the fact that I can never remember how the full version of "DV" is actually pronounced. Domnus Vet....something. I remember it easily as "da Lord 'Villing" with a weird sort of German accent or something. Can't say I didn't try.

But I was just thinking about that the other day. When I say "the other day" I mean "yesterday" because I happened to be reading up on some Paul (practicing for my order of the Corinthian nun, no doubt) when he was talking about this. He was visiting somewhere--Ephesus, I think?--and they were all sad, and he told them that he'd see them again, Lord willing. Well, in actual fact I believe he did see them again--it talks about sailing through Ephesus a few chapters later--but what this set me to wondering was this: is it always legitimate to say "Lord willing?"

Here's the deal. James says that we ought to say "if the Lord will" etc. but what if we say that, the Lord does will, and we fall down on the job? The Lord knows what's going to happen, obviously, but a lot of times we say Lord Willing as sort of a way to get out of things we don't want to do. "Well, I'll come to the hospital to clean up vomit later, Lord willing," and then when it doesn't happen, we feel justified because we didn't have time. That's a bad example, because I don't think very many of us have had that experience.

But should we really be throwing that around all the time so casually? I know that I personally qualify just about every third sentence with a "Lord willing" because I never know when I'm going to get raptured and not be able to do something, or hit by a car, or kidnapped by a mad scientist or something. Am I leaving for California tomorrow? Lord willing. I hope to, but I may not. But if I just don't get on the plane in the morning, but choose rather to hang out at the airport for a week and a half, is it going to be because the Lord willed it, or because I'm a moron?

The Lord is willing to do a lot of things that don't happen. The Lord is not willing that any should perish, for instance, and last I checked, people are still perishing.

I'm not trying to suggest that anybody stop saying Lord Willing, by the way. I for one would have a really tough time cutting it out of my vocabulary, and I'm fine with that. But I think what I'm trying to say is that we should examine our own actions more, perhaps. I don't know. I guess it can sort of boil down to the fact that in the garden the Lord Jesus said that if the Father was willing, then could He remove this cup from Him? And the answer to that was no. So maybe it's not so much about what our actions do and don't say about us, but rather that we show ourselves willing to follow the Lord's directives.

But this whole when-to-say-it-and-when-not-to-say-it thing still gets me. For instance, what if I planned to rob the bank later this afternoon? Would I be as apt to say, "well, I'm going to head over to the bank and rob it, Lord willing" as I would be to say, "well, I'm going to head over to Drug Mart and buy some post cards, Lord Willing"? But when I'm saying the deal about the post cards I guess what I usually mean is "time permitting." Obviously I guess I'd stop if the Lord showed me that He wasn't willing to buy post cards, which I guess would mean I would stop robbing the bank if He didn't want me to do that, either. But if I'm going to say Lord Willing about stuff that I think is kosher (buying post cards, going to California, making pizza for supper) then I guess it means I shouldn't do anything I'm not willing to tack a Lord Willing onto. Is that it? If you're not comfortable saying "Lord Willing" after something, then you're maybe not supposed to do it?

I don't know. Maybe next time I'm trying to make a decision I'll test-run a few sentences with a Lord Willing after it. I'm going to Europe this summer, Lord Willing.

See, but sometimes you just like the way something sounds, even if maybe the Lord still doesn't will. Who doesn't want to go to Europe this summer?

Anyhow, this got convoluted and off-topic, but it was just something that crossed my poor tangled mind. This much I know--I'm going to keep on saying "Lord Willing," Lord willing.

What wilt Thou have me to do?

For years, I've struggled with the concept of "What wilt Thou have me to do?" Basically, I understand the question, but how do we really know what the Lord is telling us in reply? I think it's just my stubbornness that has made me ponder it so much (want to talk about consecration? I am the wrong person to talk to that about, stubborn ol' me...), but it just seems... difficult.

One thing that always sort of got to me was about the whole when-I-grow-up-I'll-be-a-whatever question. For school, at the end of every year, my mom would have us write what we wanted to be when we grew up. For the first few school years of my life the answer was, without fail, "a missionary or a nurse," but once I was in about third grade, I realized that I didn't really want to be a missionary or a nurse. I wanted to be a "wife and mommy." By the time I got to twelfth grade I made it all sophisticated and wrote "homemaker" but the idea was essentially the same.

Which is all good and well, but that's the sort of thing that the Lord has to determine for you, at an appointed time (also good and well, don't get me wrong). So I've spent the last few years sort of floating around, doing random jobs and enjoying myself thoroughly. Also fine. But there was one thing that always sort of got to me--what was I really doing with my life?

Well, I still have no idea what the answer to that question is, but this isn't so much about what I'm doing with my life as what I'm letting the Lord do with my life.

Last Wednesday there were a lot of remarkably helpful comments made, one of which sort of eased my mind about what I was doing with myself these days. They were reading from Ephesians 2:10 "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them."

They were pointing out that every work we do is specialized and prepared, and God has a very specific path He wants each one of us to travel. Basic stuff, true. But then someone made the remark to the effect of, "You know, kids today try to decide what to do based on what they're good at, which doesn't make a bit of sense, because they're really supposed to be doing whatever God wants them to do, not what they want to do."

As an aside, anybody who knows anybody in my meeting can guess who this might have been (one hint, it wasn't my dad).

Anyhow, there was more to it than that, but it was a good thought for me, one I needed to be reminded of. I'm in insurance right now, which is weird, and certainly not something I would have chosen of my own accord. But that's OK, because for some odd reason, this is where the Lord has me. I was enjoying the verse from Ecclesiastes 9 about, "whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might." For some reason, my hand has found insurance, and I need to make sure that I do it to the best of my ability so that I might honour the Lord.

Which is scary to me, honestly. Because it means that I've got to work extremely hard to make up for what I lack in common insurance sense. But... I can do all things through Christ Who gives me strength!