How do you know?

Even though I've done many things in my life that I'm sure the Lord OK'd, it's still sort of a mystery to me how exactly it is that we know.  A lot of it has to do with feeling of peace we get when we are poised to do something that it seems He's approving of (this isn't the end of a sentence, I can use a preposition if I need to!), but it's sort of a far cry from an exact science.

I've been praying for quite a while about quitting my job.  Recently a few other work-type options seemed to pop up, and then fall through, and I was sort of left without other things to do.  Now, I've had three jobs thus far, the dental assisting (haha, that was an easy job to land, thanks, Dad), the nannying (it was more like babysitting, actually, but hey, I didn't complain), and the insurance job I have now.  Each one was orchestrated of the Lord--I literally had to do nothing to get them, and they each provided what I need, and worked with my schedule exactly just so.  Before I got my current job, the insurance gig, I felt at loose ends.  The nanny thing was no longer an option (full-time school?  What is that all about?), and my grandmother with whom I had been helping frequently had just passed away, so I would no longer be needed there, either.  I remember frantically looking for a job for a while, till an older woman whom I respect very much told me that I should use my time at home to help my mom.

Good point.  I stopped looking for a job, focused on helped my mom at home (it was the start of Hobby Class season, so there was plenty to be done!), and let the job part rest.  Then, a friend of mine told me that she was shortly leaving her insurance job and that if I sent her my resume she'd get me a job there.  I put it off for a few days, and then sent her the resume, only to get (and start!) the job within a week.  I've been there for over a year, and have known for a while now that my time was pretty much up.  But that left the question, what do I do without a job?  Before I had a "real job" I kept very busy, this much is true (my friends with jobs would frequently say that I seemed busier than they were, which I don't understand, because now with my real job I'm busier than ever, but anyhow, that's beside the point), but I was hesitant.  Did I just quit with no prospects; go back to being a stay-at-home daughter and granddaughter?

This past weekend I was in St. Louis.  I was praying about the job situation, because I felt it was just time.  Time to be done, time to move on to whatever else the Lord had for me.  So I decided that I would come home, work a week, and then turn in my resignation on Monday (the upcoming one, the 6th).  Well, on Monday (the one we just had, the 29th), I'd been back at work for about four hours, and all of a sudden I stopped and thought, "Is it now?  Should I quit now?"  Quit, obviously, being code-word for two weeks' notice.  Anyhow, I was in the conference room when I had this thought, and literally stopped in my tracks.  I had no idea what I should do, and actually dropped to my knees on the floor of the conference room, right then and there, and begged the Lord for guidance.  Something told me to wait, so I did.  I got up, finished cleaning off the table in the conference room, and went back to work.

But Wednesday.  That felt like the day.  I had woken up that morning and felt peace.  It was time.  So that day (there's a longer version of the story, but I'll spare you) I talked to my boss and co-worker and explained that I was leaving.  It didn't go so well (again, another story), but the moral of that story is, I'll be here for another two weeks, and then I'll be through.

At that time, I had no idea what I'd be doing.  None.  There are leads on a potential nanny job, but who knows if that'll work out.  I got home for dinner that night, only to hear that my grandfather wasn't doing well, and would perhaps shortly be admitted to the hospital.  We went over and visited with them, and he seemed to be doing fairly well, as did my grandma.

But then yesterday, my grandma had a stroke.  As of right now, I'm not sure exactly what that means for the future, but it means at least some time in physical therapy and other such doctor-related visits.  So we have a grandpa who has kidney failure, and a grandma with a stroke, and a granddaughter who shortly will not have a job.

So I still don't know what I'm doing.  Maybe in two weeks they'll be somehow all better, or maybe they'll be with the Lord.  I don't know what a day will bring forth, but I know that if they still need help in two weeks, I'll be free to help.

It's times like this that make me so incredibly thankful that following the Lord's directives really works.

Anyhow, sorry, I didn't set out to tell this whole lengthy story, but I started writing and this is what came out, so...  well, enjoy!

This brand is my brand

I don't usually think of myself as picky about brands. Usually.

However, the other night I was spending the night at my Grandma's house. It got to be like 10:00 and suddenly I realized that I was starving. I'd had a hot dog at about 4:00, and no food since then. So I figured I'd go down to the kitchen and find myself a snack. Looking forward to a nice bowl of cereal or something (other snack items at my grandma's house include things like prunes and joint wellness drinks, so cereal was about the top of the line), and then I realized something: I had already brushed my teeth, and I wasn't going through that again.

So I didn't eat. I laid awake for a while staring at the ceiling, my stomach rumbling a little bit.

Why was it such a big deal that I had already brushed my teeth? Usually if I've already brushed my teeth but something is worth eating (or I'm starving) I'll just eat and brush again. But that night at my grandma's, I'd forgotten a very important item. Toothpaste.

I don't usually forget important things like toothpaste, just so you know. But I'd forgotten that I'd finished up the tube in my purse, and I'd just expected to use that one. So when I got to my grandma's house, all there was to use was Procter&Gamble's (and I shudder to say the name, even) Crest.

Yeah, I dislike Crest toothpaste. A lot. I've never met a Crest flavor I like, for one thing. And it doesn't feel as effective as Colgate. Also, most importantly, it's not Colgate.

I am a huge Colgate fan. Have been for years. There's no real reason for it, all my dentist connections (and I have many) claim that there is no difference. But, alas, I find the chasm so wide between the two that I hesitate to even approach unto it. So, at my grandma's, I had just dealt with it like the adult I was and used the vile stuff. But doing that twice? So not happening.

So there we have it. Little ol' picky me, possessing cleanness of teeth (though not Amos 4:6 style) but willing to get it through only one brand. One day, Colgate should hire me to be a spokesperson. Because I'll tell you what: I surely do talk them up enough. I even get into arguments with my (very few, and very far between) friends who prefer Crest to the world's best.

Take that, Procter&Gamble. William Colgate was smarter than you.

Actually, Mr. Procter's first name was William as well. Haha, that's funny, I never thought of that before.