Sometimes I am too easily amused

Spotted at my local Pet Store

I love spying funny signs.  Even if they're not meant to be funny, I will see it, and I will laugh.

See, I never just see thing and move on.  I see signs, like these, at the local pet store (I obviously wasn't inside the pet store, I don't even like pets) and the first thing that pops into my head is, "Haha, Darwin started a pet store now?"

Because, obviously, natural selection.  If I were a pet store (which I never will be) I would never put this sign up.  Because obviously I would expect people to look at it and think, "Darwin?  Darwin, are you in there?"

Evolution. Pfft.

A few weeks ago I was picking up my newphew(ish) from school and I asked him what they'd learned that day.

"Oh, nothing really," he said.  His usual response.

Naturally, I always give him a hard time about learning nothing, so I badgered him for a little more information.

"Well," he mused after a minute, "they were talking about volcanoes.  That was cool, but they said that it was because of evolution.  Can you believe that, Auntie Jo?  Can you believe that my teacher believes in evolution?  The Bible even says it's not true!  And she thought it was real!"

Oh, childlike faith.  I hope he never loses that staunch faith in the Bible.  Not like I think he's at risk to, but as a child I tended to say "Bible says it?  Count me in!" but once people started asking for specific examples of something, I never knew what to say.  I remember giving someone a gospel tract when I was little.  Just sort of wandering by myself when we were at a historic village one day.  Anyhow, the person to whom I gave this tract asked me if I believed in the Bible.  Of COURSE I did!  I was probably eight or so, which was old enough to know that I believed in the Bible wholeheartedly, but as soon as this grownup started asking me about the flood, and about creation, and all sorts of specific things that he said weren't true, I had no idea what to say.

It was sort of traumatizing, actually.

To this day, I'm not sure why I was wandering by myself, nor do I know why that adult thought it was okay to start grilling me about my beliefs.  I guess I did give him a tract, so I sort of asked for it.  Details, details.

Anyhow, I smiled when I heard my nephew(ish) talk about the folly of evolution, because of course it's not true.  The Bible says otherwise!

Tru dat, my friend.  Tru dat.

My type of book

This is a photo from Guyana.  I'm sure you're jumping wildly about with excitement thinking, "Hot dog!  She's going to tell a story from that trip she took where she didn't tell us any stories?  She's finally thought of one?  And she's going to share it and show us that she loves her blog readers just as much/more than she loves her facebook friends, even though she usually dislikes facebook and loves Google, thereby we infer that she should love her (Google-powered) blog readers extra-much and eschew her facebook friends?  This is that time?"

Uh, no.  You should probably stop over-thinking things.  I still don't have Guyana stories.  And why would you use the expression "hot dog"?  That seems a little outdated.  Not like I'm judging you, I'm just pointing that out.

Now that it's established that this story doesn't actually relate to Guyana (except to say: this picture was taken in Guyana), allow me to continue.

This is a photograph of my brother and I, reading.  Is this unusual?  Indeed, it is not.  We tend to read all the time.  Stop light?  Time to read!  Family gathering gone long?  Book!  Airport?  Bound and printed is how I like my material, thanks.

So anyhow, we read.  The whole family, really.  My younger sister has a love/hate relationship with reading (I know, WHAT?  I just stop at the love/ and pretend that the slash is part of the word.  Oh me?  I have a loveslash relationship with reading.  You?) but recently I got her hooked on The Mysterious Benedict Society books, and she's nearly done with the four books (three plus the prequel) and she only started the series on Friday.  It makes me so proud.

Anyhow, the book she was reading in Guyana was some book published by Reader's Digest a while ago about the human body.  Seemed like a book I'd probably not rather read, though my brother and I both read books of my choosing while in Guyana, and they weren't exactly a laugh a minute.  I thought her book seemed sort of boring, she thought my books were boring.  Figure that.  You can't really see in the photo (see?  the picture actually has a purpose) but we're both reading books that you may not have perused yet.  Mine is called Just My Type, and his is called The Elegant Universe.

I have to go on record as saying that Just My Type was a quicker read than The Elegant Universe.  Just My Type was a book about fonts, and it was very well written.  The author went through the history of fonts ever since Gutenberg made them popular, and it even has a section on the interrobang.  My favorite ever.  The Elegant Universe is about the string theory, which I find quite interesting, however... it gets a little long.

Confession time.  I'm still not finished reading The Elegant Universe.  I got it out from the library around Easter time, but didn't have time to read it, so I returned it and got it out again before Guyana.  Seeing as my brother didn't think to bring a book (WHAT?) on the trip, I lent him mine, and I read my other book--the font book--and he read the string theory one.  He didn't finish it either.  But I still intend to finish it.  It really is a good book.  Honestly.  I actually laughed out loud in one part.

I'm such a nerd.

But anyhow, that's sort of my whole point in this story.  I sometimes weird myself out.  Here's the thing:  I (sadly) fall prey to reading Karen Kingsbury/Beverly Lewis/pick a Christian author and I've probably read a book by him/her thing.  But I've been trying to read more informative books and less pointlessness recently.  Not that I think there's something wrong with Christian fiction (I'm... not one of those people.  I understand that Philippians 4:8 says "whatsoever things are true," but I still read fiction, even in light of that), but sometimes I take stock of my life and think, "Hm.  I don't have a lot of education, but I do read.  So I should educate myself via words.  That much I can do."  So I read things like The Elegant Universe.

But I don't always like reading books like The Elegant Universe.  I get halfway through and think, "Brian.  Oh, Brian.  WHY ARE YOU ONLY NOW GETTING TO THE PART ABOUT STRING THEORY!?"  (May I just interject that this would be a perfect place for an interrobang?  Do you see why I miss it so much?  Seriously, I cannot believe that it didn't take!  It sorrows me!)  Because seriously, the author (Brian, in case you somehow missed that, and thought I fondly gave the actual book a name) spends the whole first half of the book discussing either the theory of general relativity or quantum mechanics.  I understand why he had to lay so much groundwork, but after a while it got to the point where I just wished he'd, well, get to the point.  So anyhow, when I'm halfway through such books, and furrowing my brow and making solemn promises to myself that no child of mine will ever have the name Brian I think what am I doing?

And then I get all guilty.  Am I reading nerdy books because I actually am tired of Karen Kingsbury and cohorts?  Or do I just like to read smart books because it's a nifty conversation starter?  Or do I just really like to learn things?  Am I being pretentious?  Does Brian Greene really have to go into so much detail?

Sorry.  That last question clearly isn't in relation to most books.

I just have to evaluate my motives every once in a while.  I've pretty much decided that I actually want to read the books, and I'm not just being pretentious.  Because I've tried having conversations about nerdy things, and it never works, and then I just feel awkward.  Actually, I take that back.  I have a cousin who actually understands the string theory.  I was talking to him about it, and I was like, "Sweet!  Give me the condensed version!  It'll save me from finishing the book I started!"  And... as it turns out, he doesn't have a condensed version.  It was rather lengthy, and just as we got to the actual string theory part (which is to say, he laid the groundwork, the part I've actually gotten through in the book I'm reading)... our conversation got cut off.

And he lives many hours away from me.

So now I have to finish my book.

Ugh.

Thing is, technically I could just read the wikipedia article about it and call it a day.  But... I'm obsessive.  I can't not finish a book I've started.  Actually, I've actually been able to not finish books in recent years, which I count as being a very grown-up thing to do, but it sort of hurts me.  And at this point I think I'll probably go crazy if I don't finish this book.  I've been working hard on it.

How did I start this topic?  Oh yes.  I saw the book on my dresser (conveniently under my stack of Bible, Kindle, and journal) and furrowed my eyebrows at it.  And figured that I would talk about it (a lot) in my blog, and maybe that would count as reading a few pages or something.

Doesn't usually work that way.  Sorrow.

In other news, I must disclaimer this message.  Thing is, these books are interesting.  I have learned a lot thus far in The Elegant Universe, and I learned a lot while reading Just My Type (the author is from England, so he talks a lot about the fonts they use on signs around London and stuff, and he would have photos of said signs in the book, and I would feel well-traveled because I'd seen those very signs.  Even though every person who's been to London or traveled even a few miles on the M1 has seen those signs, which technically makes it way less cool that I've seen them.  Though let's be honest.  It was cool that I'd seen those signs), but I must admit that neither author is a Christian.  The science book teaches evolution like it's a fact.  Scientists.  Pfft.  The font book casually references typographers traveling about with girlfriends.  Sinners.  Pfft.

Problems I didn't have with Karen Kingsbury, bless her heart.  (And I'm really not trying to pick on her.  She's just well known, thereby an easy reference point.)

Maybe the moral of the story is that I should finally buckle down and read Darby's synopsis.  My mother had read it by the time she was my age.  Virtuous woman.

Food for thought.

Suddenly I realize that I didn't have a point with this rather lengthy post.  So I'll make a point.

.

Haha, get it?  Periods are points.

I... need more sleep.

Right on

I'm right-handed. Mostly. Sometimes I write backwards and such, and I never know the difference between my right and left hands, but everyone tells me I'm right handed. Which, interestingly enough, means I probably chew more often using the left side of my mouth.

I'll have to check that out.

But that reminds me: did you know that your left lung is smaller than your right lung? That's just so the heart has a little more room, but still, how cool is that?

When I hear things like thing I just find it so remarkable that people often don't believe in the miracle that is life. How could we just happen? There's no such thing as uber-smart robots just falling out of the unknown and being able to function at the level of humans. Any level, really. I just don't understand.

Whatever the case is, I know I'll be paying far more attention to which side of the mouth I use to chew from this point forward. Who knows, maybe it'll confirm that I'm secretly left-handed after all!

Evidence

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

I love that. The evidence of things not seen? I just like how it's worded. I've talked about faith before, we're all familiar with it, but somethings I just realize how incredible it is that we humans have the capacity to trust in things we don't see.

Everybody seems to think that believing in God is such a difficult task, because we can't see him. But we believe in wind. I can't see wind. We believe in cancer, and the natural eye can't typically see cancer. We believe in the far reaches of space, which we can't seem to find, no matter how hard we try. What makes God so different?

On a less-related note, a funny story.

My brother sneezed the other day at dinner and proceeded to tell us all that he liked to try and hold in his sneezes. I then informed him that when you hold in a sneeze you kill a bunch of brain cells. My family looked at me like I was crazy, at which point I spluttered, "No really, I read it in a science book or something!"

That's when my sister replied, "So you believe in evolution?"

Well spoken, sister mine.

Speaking of...

I whined about evolution a lot yesterday, and with fairly good reason. This will be quick, but there's one thing that bothers me. And it has to do with evolution and the environment.

First: we humans (I say "we" loosely, please understand) are constantly worrying about the state of the environment. "Our children will live in a terrible world" we cry, "and in fact, everyone will have to use masks to breathe." "The atmosphere is being burned up by our stupidity, what shall become of us?"

Simple thought, people. We evolved, right? Well, I personally know I didn't evolve, but a lot of people out there sure think I did. So the whole point of evolving (as far as I can understand, though we've just recently proved that I don't understand much about evolution) is that we adapt to our circumstances, right? We grow longer beaks so we can eat those pesky bugs, grow more or less fur depending on whether or not our place of residence is warmer or cooler, and generally fix ourselves to fit in with our climates. Following?

So here's the thing I don't understand. If we're evolving with our environments, then won't we evolve with the global warming and pollution and everything? If I believed in evolution I'd figure, what's the difference? my children will be able to breath gasoline and still survive. Right?

Maybe that doesn't make sense, but best I can figure, the one goes with the other. I'm not exactly suggesting that we go out and burn gasoline just to speed up the "process" or anything, but I'm just saying.

But like I said yesterday, I am so glad I'm created by the Lord! What a lot of trouble it saves me! And as for environmentalism, I'm thankful that the Bible talks about being a good steward. I intend to live for the Lord, taking care of the body He gave me (it being a temple and all, good times), and the place He put me (Earth, in case nobody got where I was going with that).

But I'm not going to make a religion of the whole Earth thing. I'll leave that for those same confused people who think great-great-grandma Harriet looked the way she did because she came straight from a family of apes.

On the same note: has anyone noticed that Ken Ham looks an awful lot like a monkey himself? Sometimes I wonder how he can preach against evolution with a straight face. Though I love his work, regardless of the dubious looks. And for anyone who hasn't been to his Creation Museum, you should really go. It's amazing. Seriously.

Say what?

Sometimes I think I flunked out of Evolution one too many times. Last night at dinner, we were having a lively discussion of evolution (we have lively discussions regarding just about every subject, truth be told) and it turns out, I'm not smart enough to understand evolution after all. It all started when my brother brought up wolves, and how they're getting more dog-like as the years pass (darker fur, I guess), and little ol' me says something about evolution and breeding, and next thing I know, my dad's educating me about evolution, and how it "really" is just a series of complicated breeding patterns, after all.

I'd never really given it much thought, actually, about the process in and of itself. I usually get hung up at the very beginning of this totally nonsensical process, somewhere between the "big bang" and "protein soup" that we somehow all came out of.

But we weren't discussing that. My dad was trying to get through my thick skull the concept of advantages. As I currently understand it, evolution goes something like this: one generation gets the gene capable of creating a mutation, and a following generation gets the actual mutation, and if that sticks, then further generations get the actual change implemented within them.

But where I got hung up was the whole "if it sticks" part. I guess for the mutation to be passed along it has to have an advantage.

Here's where I asked such questions as "How does the body decide if it's an advantage or not? How does it know what to pass on?" And I'm pretty sure my parents decided right then and there that I must have flunked out of comprehensive thinking, as well.

Anyhow, I guess the advantage causes the newly mutated creature to live long enough to pass along their genes to the next generation. Oh. How was I supposed to know?

I guess that doesn't sound like a very big discovery, but it took about an hour and a half for me to understand all of that.

Well, most of our suppers take an hour and a half (eating, talking, and Bible reading all combined), but this one seemed extra long, due to the high level of confusion on my part. The only parts I understood for the first hour or so was our discussion of bacterial flagellum, thanks to some science-y video I saw that was somewhere along the lines of this.

When all was said and done, all I could do was thank the Lord that I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I was created by the Lord, and His handiwork is all over me. I'm not the product of some random mutation, I am a work of art.

Now, isn't that a whole lot better?

PS, I'm not saying that mutations don't happen in people (I mean, we've got all those hereditary diseases that the Lord sure didn't program into us), I'm just saying that we're not the product of cells mutating into frogs, and frogs into raccoons, and raccoons to monkeys, and monkeys into humans. I come from a long line (6,000 years or so) of humans. We started out this way, people, and we're messed up only because of sin. We're not upgrading as we go along. Seriously.