Holy Nudges, part 2

I recently posted about holy nudges, a thing which I think is very real, and am sobered when I think of all the times I ignore said holy nudges.

For instance, right after I posted last time (okay, well, maybe not right after, but maybe within the next few weeks) a number of times I realized I was ignoring holy nudges.  And who just reminded me about them?  Me.  In this very blog and with my own words.  Guys, I have a lot to learn.

For instance, on a Christmas-related flight I took during the holidays there was a lady who was talking to me in an airport (a stranger?  Talking to me?  Say it isn't so) and I was tired and fine with talking, but when we got on the plane (me quite a ways in front of her, because of Southwest boarding procedure) and she came and found me and said she was glad the seat next to me was still free, I'll admit--I maybe resented my openness of face.  Why do *I* have to be the one to talk to every stranger I've ever met.  Why can't I just nap?  So I leaned into the window and pretended to sleep.  Because I was very, very tired (I don't pack until the night I go places--a horrible habit, and one that detracts from my sleep quite dreadfully) and because I was already people'd out for the day (having spoken to every traveler and TSA agent I'd smiled at  that day already).  So I really was trying to doze off and the Lord kept telling me to talk to this woman.  That I really should.  Come on, Joanne, get with the program.

It took a while.  An embarrassing while, actually.  I'm ashamed to tell the story but share because a) accountability and b) it is a good reminder that when the Lord asks us to do something, we really should.

So, when I finally worked up a right spirit, I sat up and started talking to the woman, who was indeed just sitting upright, eyes open, waiting for a listening ear.  (This story won't make any sense unless I also tell you that she had a very heavy accent.  We may begin.)

"Is this your final destination?"  I asked.  (Nothing like a little travel-flavored small talk to get things started, I've discovered.)

"No, no, once we land I have to take the bus for a few hours."

"Oh, are you visiting family, or going on a vacation?"

"My brother had birthday today."

"Are you two close?"

"Yes, very."

"Well, that's very exciting!"

She stared at me.  And stared at me.  And suddenly I thought, you know, planes are really loud places, and she has an accent.  Maybe I heard her wrong?

So I tried again.  "Your brother's birthday--it's today?"

"No.  My brother died today."

Uhhhhhhhhh.

It was awful.  She was trying desperately to get down to see him and in the airport got the call that he had passed away.  He had no family with him when he died, she had already left her own family so she had nobody with her when she heard, and there she was, just alone in the airport, trying to be with her brother, discovering it was too late.

No wonder she wanted to talk.

That was the thing, though.  We talked about it a little bit, I hugged her (albeit awkwardly, we were on a plane and all) and then she just breathed a deep sigh, leaned her head back, and slept.

She could have been sleeping that whole time, probably, if I'd spoken to her sooner.  But I was being selfish and childish.  But thankfully the Lord persevered with his holy nudge and I bit the proverbial bullet.  And I need to, because she needed someone, and, for whatever reason that person was me.

"Take my lips," that song says, "and let them be filled with messages from Thee."  I'm a Christian, so that ought always to be my prayer, and I'm someone who gets LifeStory'd ALL the time, so I need to be mindful that the Lord probably wants to use these multitudinous occasions as more than just a casual encounter--He has plans for my conversations.

"Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee."

Eshcol's Grapes

The other night at dinner we were reading Numbers 13, and it took us quite a while to read through the whole chapter.  We kept getting very distracted (nothing unusual) and eventually my dad pretty much fell asleep at the table.  That was when we decided we'd pretty much exhausted every possible avenue of discussion about the chapter.

First I had to remark that I thought it was weird that Moses just sort of renamed Joshua in verse 16.  Then my mother was a tad appalled because it was adding the word Jehovah to the name, which is a good thing, and not weird.  My poor parents.

Then in verse 22 there's a random addition regarding Hebron.  It goes, "(Now Hebron was built seven years before Zoan in Egypt.)"  So then we had to discuss for some time why exactly this was important.  I mean, Egypt is a picture of the world in the Bible, and seven is a much-loved number of perfection, but when you put those pieces together, does it mean something deep and important?  We didn't decide.

We took a break partway through dinner to use the dictionary to look up something about gifts, though I recall not what.



Then we got to verse 23, which is a verse about Eshcol's grapes, and we had to all share our story of when we first had the eureka moment as to what this hymn by Mary Bowley actually meant.  Pretty much when I was young I didn't get it, because, the line goes, "The manna and the springing well suffice for every need; and Eshcol's grapes the story tell of where Thy path doth lead," and as a kid that was not enough.  Because Eshcol's grapes were telling a story about where the path did lead, but let's be honest, unless you know the story of the grapes, that doesn't make the most sense ever.



My friend and I aren't eating Eshcol's Grapes,
but rather grapes in Romania one time.  Mmm.



Anyhow.  I just wrote a bunch of stuff about God's way being the best way etc. but then when I tried to add that nifty picture of my friend and I eating Romanian grapes it deleted my last paragraph.  So now I'm done.  But anyhow, pictures make a blog much more spruced, so I figure I should try to put pictures up from time to time.  At least enough so my blog isn't so blase... 

Hola!

Dear 2011,

Welcome.  I just wanted to let you know that I am expecting great things of you.  First, that I don't see much of you.  The Lord has promised that He is surely coming soon!  Woohoo!  Secondly, I trust that I learn to trust and obey.  I was considering that song the other day and realizing that my faith leaves somewhat to be desired.  Thirdly, that my walk might be worthy, leaving others with the knowledge of Christ.  Like Moses, I want my face to shine.

Thank you Lord, for another year.  Whether or not you come during these next 12 months, every day draws me closer to You.  Each day is a gift.  Thank You.

Jo

All or nothing

This past weekend I learned a lot. It was a good weekend. One of the things that was excellent and garnered much discussion amongst the circle I run with was some discussion about giving your all to the Lord. The example used was that nobody would ever dream of talking about getting married and say, "Yeah, I'll pledge myself to this person 85%" or even 99%, truth be told. Marriage is supposed to be a 100% effort from both parties, and it seems absurd to think of someone promising just a portion of themself to their spouse-to-be.

But... really? Isn't that what we do to the Lord? We say we'll serve Him, and we do, but... only on our terms. We want to serve him with the part of ourselves we have left after we're done catering to our our whims. The Lord (obviously) deserves more than a half-hearted effort on our part to be His. He wants us, heart and soul, in entirety.

It's easy to want that. To want that relationship with the Lord, where all burdens, all decisions, all choices, are placed on the altar before Him. But when it comes down to it, we're mostly not willing to go that far. To give every aspect of our lives over to the Lord, to leave nothing for ourselves. It takes a complete willingness to give control. A complete willingness to surrender all. I love that hymn, "I surrender all" but when it comes down to it, I'm not able to say that I truly have surrendered my all.

I'm not my own, I'm bought with a price, but for some reason it wrongly feels like a price, rather than a privilege, to give back.

"Love will come to save us, if we'll only call, He will ask nothing of us, but demand we give our all." Lyrics from a great song from the Fireproof movie. They seemed quite fitting for my current thoughts.

And that's all. For now.

Obey

A few weeks ago my family was having a picnic and I had my parents give us kids some "life advice." I just figured that it would be interesting to hear specifics; we see how they live, but I wanted to hear why they decided to live the way they do. It sparked (obviously) some interesting discussions, and then I sort of forgot about it.

But last night our family went out to eat in celebration of two major events (moving here and my dad buying his business) that actually happened in September, but we always forget about it until later in the fall. So yes, it's October, and we're finally celebrating our Family Day of Awesomeness. Or whatever it's called.

So, while we were sitting around, waiting for the food (most specifically, the rolls, which they forgot to give us, and we were all pretty hungry for them, sigh) I thought it would be fun to get some advice from the other side of the family. My little sister (she'll always be my little sister, no matter how old she gets!) is nearly 16 (see? not exactly little any longer), so I asked her to give all of us some life advice. By the time I was her age I thought I had a pretty good handle on things (little did I know...) and thought it would be interesting to get her take on the subject.

She thought for a few minutes, and then came out with one of the wisest things I've heard in a long time. "Disobedience is never worth it." That was all. She just said it as if, well, of course, life advice was her speciality.

Yeah, I wasn't that smart when I was 15.

But it made me think of the verse in 1 Samuel 15, that says that "Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams." Then it continues about rebellion being as the sin of witchcraft and stubbornness as iniquity and idolatry (those verses used to strike a great deal of fear into my young heart, especially as I was wont to be rather stubborn), but I was mostly thinking about the obedience part of the verse.

You know, Saul really thought (so it appears) he was doing the right thing in the chapter--he sacrificed to the Lord from the best of the flocks and such. What's so bad about that? Well, nothing, unless the Lord had asked that you, you know, obey Him specifically. And this was the incident where Saul spared Agag, and later, of course, Haman the Agagite tried to destroy the Jewish race, which didn't work out so well for him, but this is off-topic. Go read Esther in case you need to brush up on how unfortunate the whole sparing-of-Agag situation was.

Where was I?

Ah, yes. So Saul did something that, in and of itself, wasn't bad, but certainly had negative consequences. And I can think of so many choices I've made in life (this is depressing: if I've already done so many wrong things and I'm not even a quarter of a century old, how much opportunity will there be in my life for wrongs to be committed? Ugh) where it wasn't as if I were doing something "wrong" per se, but I knew the difference. There are things that leave a sharp bitter taste in your mouth, and you know you don't have peace. Thankfully, I rarely end up losing my kingdom because of it (of course, I don't have a kingdom to lose. Note to self: find a kingdom) but there are still consequences.

So, maybe if I'd asked my sister a few years ago for life advice, I would have been less biscuit-y in some of my choices.

Maybe I need a shirt that says "Obedience is better." On the back it could say stuff about sacrifice or fat of rams, but I'm not sure that people would understand it. The "Obedience is Better" tagline makes sense in and of itself.

Like John H Sammis always said, "Trust and obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, than to trust and obey!"

Lose my soul

I was watching the music video for TobyMac's song, Lose My Soul, the other day. And, while I like the song, I think it's only fair to share that I didn't really understand the music video. Yes, yes, I got the part about the guy NOT killing himself (deciding he didn't want to lose his soul, I can only assume), but everything else? No clue.

For instance, I was sorry that the lady had to sell her wedding band, but was that showing that she was losing her soul? gaining the world? I couldn't figure it out. And the guys who stole the computer? What was that? Gaining the world? Because it didn't really fit in with the story. For a second I thought maybe the pawn shop guy was the one who was gaining the world/losing his soul. But I think he was a good guy. He admired the wedding band, and seemed to pay a good price, plus he smiled when the guy returned the gun without killing himself. That was... nice.

This is why I sometimes thing I should stick with hymns. They, at least make sense. Modern music, or whatever we call it, rarely does. For instance, I really like the new TobyMac song City On Our Knees, but I don't really understand it. Why are the sinners and saints meeting, and what are they doing? and if those sinners are truly sinners, then I'm sorry, but they're not coming to the city with One King without some serious Salvation. But I agreed with his general point of starting now and here. I mean, I agree, providing he's talking about evangelizing or something. Like I said, I'm really not sure what he's getting at in that song.

But I think it's about evangelism, since he talks about third-world missions and stepping across the line. I've been thinking a lot recently about how little I evangelize, and it's been driving me crazy, my lack of evangelism-motivation.

So, here's hoping that when Toby is singing "we are one choice from together," what's he's saying is that if I get you saved, we'll be together forever. And then we can be family. That's cool with me, my friend. Getting saved is about the most glorious display we can find on earth. So maybe Toby knows what he's singing about, after all.