Misspeaks

Last night 'round the dinner table we were remembering some particularly funny times when someone has been reading the Bible and spoke amiss. My all-time favorite was when my little sister was just learning how to read and we were reading the parable of the guy who sent his only son and she said, "This is the hair; come, let us kill him, and let us squeeze on his inheritance." And I just laughed. Nobody else remembers, but I wrote a note in my Bible, and every time I come across it I just have to laugh.

Then, of course, were the time when we'd have Bible study at our house for the neighbourhood teens, and every once in a while they'd say something funny. Like once my dad asked what "swine" were (parable of the prodigal son) and one girl said, "they're those, like, pretty white birds?" No, no, those are swans.

At Sunday School once a boy whom I've always thought of as pretty with it was asked what a "pardon" was. "A.... squirrel?" No, Lorenzo, that's not it.

Back to the dinner table. Once, when my grandma was still with us, she was at our house for breakfast and our family reading happened to be in Matthew 11. My grandma wasn't paying much attention (being 93 will do that to you), and so when it came time for her to read she didn't know where we were. So my mom, being ever helpful, started out the verse for her and pointed her in the right direction. "Woe unto thee, Mummy," she said, hoping that my grandma would pick up from there.

So my grandma repeated after her. Verbatim.

"Woe unto thee, Mummy."

We all cracked up, and my poor grandma didn't understand why we thought it was funny. Needless to say, I can't ever seem to read about Chorazin without remembering my dear grandmother saying, "Woe unto thee, Mummy."

I remember someone once mis-reading loaves and fishes as "loaves and smishes." Two words: Church. Giggles.

Purchased

On the topic of parables, here's a good one. The story of the guy who found the pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought the field--what did he sell? And from whom did he buy?

I guess I should have capitalized all of that, because the "he" in the story represents Christ. Actually, are we supposed to capitalize pronouns that don't actually entirely refer to the Lord? I'm not sure.

Moving on.

We all talk about how we were purchased with the blood of Christ, bought with a price, etc. And that's good, that's from the Bible (1 Corinthians 6:20, for example), but from whom were we purchased? Was the transaction with the Father? Were we purchased by the Son from the Father? Because I certainly don't think that Jesus was transacting with Satan or anything like that. So we were purchased, saved from the clutches of sin, but from whom?

And in the parable, the merchant sold all that he had, and purchased the field with the pearl in it. What did Jesus have to give up in coming to Earth to save us? He didn't give up His Deity, nor did He give up His place at the right hand of God. I guess it's one of those things that I won't know until Glory.

And once again, if we were smart enough to understand God, well, that just wouldn't make sense, would it? =)

100

I was already planning on writing about the number 100 this morning before I logged on and realized that this is my hundredth post. Nice.

I was thinking about the parable of the hundred sheep. We all understand that the one lost sheep is you or I, or anyone in need of a Saviour, who was sought out/is being sought out by the Lord. We all know about how the angels in Heaven rejoice over that one sinner that repents.

But... what about the 99? Who are they? Do they represent the pharisees from the Bible, or regular-type people who aren't saved (yet)?

And I know it's "just" a parable. As my dad consistently has to remind me, shadows and pictures in the Bible are just that--shadows. Pictures. Not entirely matching up to the reality of the situation. There's no way to have a perfect picture of Christ, because Christ is perfect. Nothing else compares. So that leaves us with fragments of the story, which is fine, because if we could understand the whole story, then God wouldn't be... God.

But I still don't understand who those 99 are. So if you have an inkling of who they represent, please let me know.