Ah, for the time

I glumly sit around at work every afternoon and think, "I could be cooking!" It seems silly, I guess, because I know that one day I'll be cooking more than I ever wanted, but I really miss having the time to cook. Every once in a while I'll have time when I get home from work, but we're a rather regimented family when it comes to meals, and when I get home is the time where we sit down and get started, so I usually end up just being there for the partaking, and not the making.

I bake for my Sunday School class once a week, but I've never liked baking as much as cooking "real food," and since the girls in my class mostly just like chocolate chip muffins, anyhow, it's not like I branch out to very much other stuff.

This just came up because I was ogling the Williams-Sonoma website (best recipes ever! Well, best pictures of recipes, at any rate) and wishing I could make some asparagus or something. Guess that means I'd have to, you know, buy some asparagus, but it always seems more fun in the Idea Stage.

Not to say that I've totally moved on from AllRecipes.com, because I'm not about to do that. They're my go-to recipe site, and I shall not be moved!

A penny for your secret

For some reason, people often come up to me and tell me their life story. That's fine with me, I don't mind, but it's just interesting to me, because I don't usually feel comfortable telling total strangers things about me. I even hesitate before giving out my name. My first name! But no, I have people regularly share with me whatever is on their mind, be it their worst family dinner (one example: right after her husband died, one lady's daughter-in-law ruined their Thanksgiving dinner by announcing that she was leaving her husband. He didn't know about it until then), their plans for the next few years (those are less interesting, and usually have to do with owning mechanic shops or opening an art-supply store), or whatever else comes to mind (favorite time of year, best childhood memory, why they wish they had a different car). As I said, I find this stuff interesting.

But in all the things I've heard, I've never heard someone tell me "Now, I'm going to tell you a secret that I've never told anyone else." Maybe I've heard people's secrets (the beauty of it is, since I don't know them, I don't know which part they're telling me is a secret or common knowledge), but in general, I just think I hear lonely people finding an outlet for some words.

There's a project you may or may not be aware of, and whose website I won't direct you to, because there are a lot of rather icky secrets you shouldn't have to be exposed to, but it's called PostSecret. Some guy one time decided to get a post office box and have people mail him their secrets, ones that they've never before shared. Weird part is? They do. He's published several books, keeps an active blog, and gets many postcards from strangers, glad to have an outlet to share their secret.

The concept is compelling, this much is true. Being able to anonymously share a secret? What's not to like?

What brings this to mind is that the library near where I work (the one at which I want to get married) just did a PostSecret event, where you were supposed to submit secrets anonymously. The display hasn't gone up yet, but when I last talked to the librarian about it, they hadn't gotten many submissions. "Did you put a secret in?" I had to admit that I hadn't. In return I asked her about it, and she sheepishly said that she hadn't put one in, either.

So, if it's so cool, why hadn't we put in secrets? Well, I can't answer for her, but I know why I didn't. First of all, say I did have a cool secret. What if someone I knew saw it on the wall, and just somehow knew it was me? I don't have secrets of that caliber, truth be told, which is why I didn't even bother putting one in. Anything I could think to say (and I tried! I put thought into this!) was just... lame. I don't think it's because I live secret-free, because all who know me can attest to my distaste of sharing personal information, but there's no secret stewing inside of me. If you want to know something, you can ask. I might choose to withhold the information from you, but it's not because it's a big national secret, rather that I've chosen not to reveal that particular piece of information.

But we do love our secrets. I love to read other people's secrets, and I sometimes love when I have a little secret of my own. There are secrets I'd rather not have, but that's all part of what makes us human--carrying burdens for ourself, and for others, knowing that your secrets are safe. As safe as they can be, anyhow, in light of our human tendency to spout off at the mouth whenever possible.

But it's sort of a fun thing to do, to ponder what you'd share, if you dared. It's worth pondering, if for no other reason than to make yourself face the secrets you rarely think about. But all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of Him with Whom we have to do. Secrets are kind of meaningless, if you think about it. A nice perk of being a child of God--There's no awkward "well, we've known each other for a while, so I should probably tell you that...." conversation. He knows full well everything you're not telling Him.

There's something about Heritage

I loved Rome. I loved everywhere I went, actually (my layover in Poland made me wish I could live there.... it was amazing), but there was something about Rome. Knowing that Paul used to hang out there, that Nero used to burn it down for fun (well, that was once, but still!), that the Christians in Romans huddled together to read Paul's letter to them... I don't know, it was pretty cool.

Not to mention: the Colosseum. I loved it. There was something about standing in that expansive structure, looking across at the floor (which wasn't as big as maybe I thought it would be), and knowing that the blood of hundreds of thousands of people had been mingled with the sand under the sound of a cheering mob... it was rather moving. Then to think of how many of those were Christians, killed for sport. I wanted to stand there and cry, but there were a bunch of people hanging around, so I didn't.

Also, we went to the catacombs. I mentioned those a few weeks ago, and I must admit, I thought it was well worth the admission price. Standing in the dark tunnels, running my hand across the uneven walls, wondering how many people used to call it home... Again, moving.

The weirdest thing, though, is how unimportant that seemed to the other tourists. Obviously, if you don't care about Christ, you're not going to care about the Christians who lived and died in His name, but I kept on looking around that great city and thinking: why are these crazy people here? It was crowded and full of other irritating tourists (and 55,000 German kids, thanks to our poor timing) and besides, they're just old buildings. I just couldn't imagine going there just for the sake of going. I was there to see one of the places the Bible happened! And it was totally worth it.

It also made me want to run home and read every book I'd ever read about Rome. I've read dozens of historical novels set in Rome over the years, and now that I've been there I figure I'll appreciate them even more. I haven't taken the time yet, but I have enjoyed reading those New Testament Pauline epistles since I returned. While I have no idea where Paul was under his house arrest, I know that he was there long enough to write some pretty swell parts of the Bible! I just keep thinking, "I was there, where the early Church was when they were still considered early! And where they used to hide out in fear, but sing out in boldness, in the face of all that went on."

I walked some of those streets. They've doubtlessly been re-cobbled, but fact is, it was the same part of the world. That was enough for me.

I'm back!

Tired, but back. I had an amazing two weeks, and now I just want to nap for two weeks. Alas, not so fast, thanks to work and life.

Anyhow, it was a whirlwind of awesome, truth be told. I'll outline the trip later, but essentially I flew out after work on the 30th, was in Italy for a week, and then was in Romania from the 6th up until the 13th, after which point I flew home to a wedding on Saturday, and made it home in time for work yesterday morning!

Like I said: nap needed. At work today I actually spent some time napping on the floor of one of the offices. It was refreshing.

Like they always say, though, there's no place like home!