There have been some tragic events going on recently, one of which involved a friend of mine who died of bone cancer. He was only 15, and it's been really hard on his family. One reason it's been so difficult is because his dad just didn't expect him to die. He'd been led to believe that it was always God's will to heal someone, and that sickness is indicative of sin. When his son died late Friday night, he turned to his wife and asked if she saw this coming.
He had faith. Faith that God would restore his son to full health and fix what was going on.
Sometimes we talk about "blind faith" and how it's trusting God even when we just can't see what He's doing. But this time? This time blind faith meant that he (the dad) believed that God would do a certain thing, rather than believing that God would do what was best for the situation. And I know I have a measure of that myself--I tend to think, "hey, He wants us to have faith like a grain of mustard seed..." and then I don't open myself to the possibility that He'll do something other than what I want Him to.
And questions with this are so hard. "How can someone with such strong faith feel so let down? Aren't we supposed to be protected?"
When people ask me things like that I just don't know what to say. It's such a difficult thing to be willing to trust God completely; blind faith that trusts Him to do the right thing, regardless of personal preference.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Joseph & co.
The other night our family was having a Bible reading (I like to call it "pre-BOB," a Saturday night gathering where we sing BOB-related songs and read BOB-related verses, etc.) and I got to rambling about Joseph, and we had a rather rousing (not exactly Bob-related) discussion about him and his life.
This is Bible Joseph, just in case that hasn't come across yet.
I was just pondering a few things.
1. Did Joseph ever check in on brother Simeon while he was in prison? I mean, I think if I were Joseph and my brother was just down in the dungeon, and if he missed his family as much as the story indicates, that he would have found some sort of way to get updated on him. Maybe he would have had his Steward make sure that Simeon was well cared for? That Steward, by the way, must have been soo confused about the goings-on of Joseph's life. Seriously. Oh, plus, I would think it would have been super easy for Joseph to check out prisons himself. I mean, he'd been a clever prison-keeper back before his Zaphnathpaaneah days, right? So it would stand to reason that nobody would question if he wanted to poke around in prisons whenever he wanted.
2. Speaking of that. Didn't any of the farmers wonder why in the world they were handing over a fifth of their crops to an ex-con? I think I would have wondered, quite honestly. My brother was rather surprised that I brought this up at all, since Joseph was number two in the land and all. True, brother, but you'd think they'd at least have some moments of doubt or worry or something.
3. I'd think at least some of the wives would wonder why they had to uproot and move to Egypt of all places (you really want our children to be raised in that heathen land, honey?) but my mom thinks they would have been glad to be closer to the corn. I still think they'd have at least one disgruntled wife between the all of them.
4. I liked how Pharaoh had known Joseph for about five minutes and decided that he was the person "discreet and wise" to run the whole Project Survive Famine. Yes, he interpreted your dream, but you don't know much about him other than the fact he'd been in jail.
I'm stuck on this whole jail thing today.
Ah, well. Nobody knows. Maybe nobody ever bothered with these things in those days ("these things" being the moving-to-a-heathen land, visiting-my-brother-secretly, bringing-food-to-an-ex-con things), I don't know.
Ohhhh, but one more thing. Did Simeon (it was Simeon, right?) grow to respect the person Zaphnathpaaneah was while he was imprisoned in Egypt? Did he know what was going on in the land? Hear many current events? I just wonder if he respected Joseph without even knowing it was him, you know?
Heaven will be sweet. For a million reasons, but one being that I'll get to finally find out all this stuff. I've got some questions for Amos, too, actually. Soon!!
This is Bible Joseph, just in case that hasn't come across yet.
I was just pondering a few things.
1. Did Joseph ever check in on brother Simeon while he was in prison? I mean, I think if I were Joseph and my brother was just down in the dungeon, and if he missed his family as much as the story indicates, that he would have found some sort of way to get updated on him. Maybe he would have had his Steward make sure that Simeon was well cared for? That Steward, by the way, must have been soo confused about the goings-on of Joseph's life. Seriously. Oh, plus, I would think it would have been super easy for Joseph to check out prisons himself. I mean, he'd been a clever prison-keeper back before his Zaphnathpaaneah days, right? So it would stand to reason that nobody would question if he wanted to poke around in prisons whenever he wanted.
2. Speaking of that. Didn't any of the farmers wonder why in the world they were handing over a fifth of their crops to an ex-con? I think I would have wondered, quite honestly. My brother was rather surprised that I brought this up at all, since Joseph was number two in the land and all. True, brother, but you'd think they'd at least have some moments of doubt or worry or something.
3. I'd think at least some of the wives would wonder why they had to uproot and move to Egypt of all places (you really want our children to be raised in that heathen land, honey?) but my mom thinks they would have been glad to be closer to the corn. I still think they'd have at least one disgruntled wife between the all of them.
4. I liked how Pharaoh had known Joseph for about five minutes and decided that he was the person "discreet and wise" to run the whole Project Survive Famine. Yes, he interpreted your dream, but you don't know much about him other than the fact he'd been in jail.
I'm stuck on this whole jail thing today.
Ah, well. Nobody knows. Maybe nobody ever bothered with these things in those days ("these things" being the moving-to-a-heathen land, visiting-my-brother-secretly, bringing-food-to-an-ex-con things), I don't know.
Ohhhh, but one more thing. Did Simeon (it was Simeon, right?) grow to respect the person Zaphnathpaaneah was while he was imprisoned in Egypt? Did he know what was going on in the land? Hear many current events? I just wonder if he respected Joseph without even knowing it was him, you know?
Heaven will be sweet. For a million reasons, but one being that I'll get to finally find out all this stuff. I've got some questions for Amos, too, actually. Soon!!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Now I can die happy
I found it. The library I want to get married in. It's always been sort of a family joke that I'll end up getting married in a library (in addition to making the happy husband sign an agreement about living close to a library, haha), but seriously, it could happen. It's not really big enough for a wedding of my family's caliber, but I can work something out I'm sure.
It's near to where I work (I mentioned it one day and everyone else at the office was stunned that there was a library around here) and it's attached to the park, which means the grounds are really nice. It's RIGHT on a lake, and there are big glass windows that face the lake, and it's just gorgeous. It's winter now, so they have a fireplace burning every time I go in there, and it's just remarkable.
I was telling my friends of this discovery, and everyone was encouraging me to find the man so it can all happen until my cousin remembered that I've decided to become a nun! So, we worked it out and decided that I could take my vows of nunhood at the library. I don't know what vows of nunhood are, or whether or not I could take them not in a church or convent, but if it's kosher, I'd so take them at that library.
Ahh, pipe dreams.
It's near to where I work (I mentioned it one day and everyone else at the office was stunned that there was a library around here) and it's attached to the park, which means the grounds are really nice. It's RIGHT on a lake, and there are big glass windows that face the lake, and it's just gorgeous. It's winter now, so they have a fireplace burning every time I go in there, and it's just remarkable.
I was telling my friends of this discovery, and everyone was encouraging me to find the man so it can all happen until my cousin remembered that I've decided to become a nun! So, we worked it out and decided that I could take my vows of nunhood at the library. I don't know what vows of nunhood are, or whether or not I could take them not in a church or convent, but if it's kosher, I'd so take them at that library.
Ahh, pipe dreams.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Deck the halls
Ah, Christmas. I don't really like Christmas. Mostly, people are busy and frazzled and in a hurry. Plus, shopping (which I already dislike) is a mess. Everyone, it seems, wants to be shopping. Long lines, impatient people, sales that aren't that good... Not so exciting.
I've been feeling at least mildly jolly, I guess. There's been a lot of stuff going on recently (two of my friends died this weekend, if that's any indication), so I haven't been crazily excited about everything, but I have a lot to be thankful for.
Christmas music at work has been a little difficult to get used to. Usually I like to get in the car on a snowy day and hear Christmas music. This year? I hear Christmas music for 8 1/2 hours a day (yeah, they play it in the lunch room, too) and when I get in the car I'm not that inclined to listen to more. So I've been hearing some less seasonal sounds in the car, which is fine, but odd.
Dude, working has benefits--besides the money and connections. =) I can't even tell you how many people have brought us Christmas treats here at the office. We just got our third one today! My boss got a ham, but I don't count that as a treat, since it is neither sweet nor will I be partaking of it.
Anyhow, I have no idea what I was really here to say. And I'm not trying to be super down on the season but OH MY GOODNESS IF I HEAR THIS SONG ONE MORE TIME I WILL IMPLODE! OK, I don't know about anybody else, but the song "Last Christmas I gave you my heart, the very next day you gave it away, etc" was fine maybe once or twice. Six times a day is NOT cool, since it is pointless and lame.
I see a wooden rocking horse in the camera here at work. What tomfoolery is this? I must go investigate.
Over and out.
I've been feeling at least mildly jolly, I guess. There's been a lot of stuff going on recently (two of my friends died this weekend, if that's any indication), so I haven't been crazily excited about everything, but I have a lot to be thankful for.
Christmas music at work has been a little difficult to get used to. Usually I like to get in the car on a snowy day and hear Christmas music. This year? I hear Christmas music for 8 1/2 hours a day (yeah, they play it in the lunch room, too) and when I get in the car I'm not that inclined to listen to more. So I've been hearing some less seasonal sounds in the car, which is fine, but odd.
Dude, working has benefits--besides the money and connections. =) I can't even tell you how many people have brought us Christmas treats here at the office. We just got our third one today! My boss got a ham, but I don't count that as a treat, since it is neither sweet nor will I be partaking of it.
Anyhow, I have no idea what I was really here to say. And I'm not trying to be super down on the season but OH MY GOODNESS IF I HEAR THIS SONG ONE MORE TIME I WILL IMPLODE! OK, I don't know about anybody else, but the song "Last Christmas I gave you my heart, the very next day you gave it away, etc" was fine maybe once or twice. Six times a day is NOT cool, since it is pointless and lame.
I see a wooden rocking horse in the camera here at work. What tomfoolery is this? I must go investigate.
Over and out.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Ugh
I have many fond memories of being sick, oddly enough. Cozy-type memories, ones where my mom would sing to put me to sleep, or my siblings and I would all lay around on the couch and moan in unison.
But this? This is my first time being sick and going to work. Real work, anyhow, I was sick when I nannied all the time. So... we'll see how it goes. Work starts in a minute, and I've been avoiding doing anything useful until it actually turns 8:30. So... here goes nothing!
But this? This is my first time being sick and going to work. Real work, anyhow, I was sick when I nannied all the time. So... we'll see how it goes. Work starts in a minute, and I've been avoiding doing anything useful until it actually turns 8:30. So... here goes nothing!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Prayers and things like that
Sometimes I just need some time with the Lord. Not because I feel like I'm losing my grip on Him and need to reconnect, but because I feel like I just can't have anybody around me as I fellowship with Him. Right now there's some crazy stuff going on around my place, and I've been pretty much bawling my eyes out for the past day. Less than that, actually, even though it feels like much longer.
But anyhow, I got MikesChair out of the library on Monday, which was crazy and of the Lord, because I've been listening to their song, Let the Waters Rise, even before stuff went a little crazy. This is short, I know, but sometimes there's nothing to say but that I love being able to pray. I love knowing that underneath are the everlasting arms. I love casting all my cares upon Him. This morning in Bible reading with my family I happened to read 1 Samuel 25:29, the verse about being "bound up in the bundle of life with the Lord my God," and I just started crying. I love knowing that I'm bound up in the bundle of life with my Lord, and... I trust that everyone I know and love is being bound up in that bundle of life.
Here are the lyrics to that amazing song, for those who aren't familiar with the song. Look it up, if you don't know it. And when you listen, pray for the brokenhearted.
Don't know where to begin
It's like my world's caving in
And I tried but i can't control my fear
Where do I go from here
Sometimes it's so hard to pray
You feel so far away
I am willing to go where You want me to
God I trust You
[Chorus]
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If you want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will swim in the deep
'Cause You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea
You're never out of reach
God You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand
[Chorus]
God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding on to You
God your love is enough
I will follow You
I will follow You
[Chorus]"
But anyhow, I got MikesChair out of the library on Monday, which was crazy and of the Lord, because I've been listening to their song, Let the Waters Rise, even before stuff went a little crazy. This is short, I know, but sometimes there's nothing to say but that I love being able to pray. I love knowing that underneath are the everlasting arms. I love casting all my cares upon Him. This morning in Bible reading with my family I happened to read 1 Samuel 25:29, the verse about being "bound up in the bundle of life with the Lord my God," and I just started crying. I love knowing that I'm bound up in the bundle of life with my Lord, and... I trust that everyone I know and love is being bound up in that bundle of life.
Here are the lyrics to that amazing song, for those who aren't familiar with the song. Look it up, if you don't know it. And when you listen, pray for the brokenhearted.
Don't know where to begin
It's like my world's caving in
And I tried but i can't control my fear
Where do I go from here
Sometimes it's so hard to pray
You feel so far away
I am willing to go where You want me to
God I trust You
[Chorus]
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If you want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will swim in the deep
'Cause You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea
You're never out of reach
God You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand
[Chorus]
God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding on to You
God your love is enough
I will follow You
I will follow You
[Chorus]"
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
'Tis the Season!
They've started playing Christmas music full-time at work. Oh, joy.
But you know what? I'm still really thankful, and Thanksgiving/being a Christian still seems to me lingering. Which is good. So I've been trying to be duly thankful for as many things as possible. Like... not sleeping=lots of time to pray! Woohoo!
I'm on my lunch break at work. I just don't have time to keep up with anything meaningful... Sigh.
But you know what? I'm still really thankful, and Thanksgiving/being a Christian still seems to me lingering. Which is good. So I've been trying to be duly thankful for as many things as possible. Like... not sleeping=lots of time to pray! Woohoo!
I'm on my lunch break at work. I just don't have time to keep up with anything meaningful... Sigh.
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