Talk about multi-purpose!

Is anybody getting tired of me talking about how much I've been cleaning my house?

Sorry about that.  Allow me to continue anyhow.

So, I used the miracle tub cleaner, and was like "Pinterest is beautiful and works and I love it and everything on it must work!"  Well, not quite, but I was more open to trying the cleaning tips that random people posted.  So I saw one about cleaning stove grates.  Well, ours are awful.  We have a fantastic kitchen, but my mother's one regret has always been our gas stove and how it's impossible to clean.  So I saw this tip about cleaning stove grates and thought, yay!  Finally a solution.

So I carefully did what it said.  Put a grate in a zip lock bag with some ammonia.  I let it sit for a long time and and then got excited because the ammonia took on a dark color and so I was like, "it worked!"


It didn't.


I scrubbed off the grate, and some of the gunk came off, but not all.

I'd go through the whole story, of putting the grate back in the bag with fresh ammonia like four times and still not getting them clean, but it was a lot of times, and not that fun of a story.  It was irksome.

I even used my miracle tub spray, just in case.

That didn't work.

I left them in a pan on the counter, sprayed with stuff, just hoping that something would react with the spray and somehow miraculously clean them.  I truly did this.  It worked for Alexander Fleming, and we all know that penicillin is truly a miracle.  I actually announced that nobody was supposed to move them, just hoping that something would drop into the pan and magically clean them.  Turns out, you can't usually manufacture scientific miracles.  Botheration.

Finally my mother and I brainstormed and decided to use some oven cleaner.  We had some in the basement that we for some reason never use, so I figured that since a stove is basically just an oven that has the misfortune of not having an enclosure for a home, it would work the same, right?

Actually... yes!

It took some patience, due to the unfortunate build-up on the stove, but this stuff worked like a charm.  The stove grates sparkle, the stove itself sparkles, and all is clean and beautiful.  The only snag was that the bottle of oven cleaner stopped working right when half the stove was cleaned and it was sorrowful because I wanted to finish.  Why was only half the stove cleaned?  Because I was leaving some elements open so we could still cook.  Eating is an important use for stoves.  So anyhow, my dad and I took the stove cleaner outside to try to fix it, and ended up killing the bottle and spraying oven cleaner all over the grass.  Which, incidentally, died within twelve hours.

In other news, we have a new weed killer.  My dad warned against a certain patch of weeds because he'd just sprayed it.  He made a joke about using oven cleaner which I laughed at, but he was totally serious.  He went out to the store and bought oven cleaner because he wanted to kill some weeds and knew for a fact that oven cleaner was really fast-acting.

It worked.  So this was really two birds with one stone.  The stove is beautifully clean, and our weeds are dead.

So if you're looking for a way to clean your stove, and/or kill your weeds?  Feel free to use the above information liberally.

Things I Ought to Know

I decided the other day that instead of a bucket list, perhaps I should have a list of things I should know.  I mean, we should all know a great deal of things (I'm taking this wildly out of context, but as we all remember from Hosea 4:6, knowledge is kind of important.  Never reject it.  The verse obviously isn't talking about cumulonimbus clouds or anything, but I'm simply making the point that knowledge=important), plus, learn something new every day (my father would be so proud), but I feel like maybe I should have a list of things I should know/do/have.  And since I really do love lists quite a bit, I thought I'd turn my hypothetical musing into an actual list of things in no particular order.  I'm sure this isn't complete, but it's just sort of stuff that comes to mind.

Knitting.  I feel like every virtuous girl should be able to knit.  I... cannot.  Yet.  My friend Joy knows how, so maybe whenever I get around to visiting her, we can have a little session wherein she teaches me and I attempt to learn.

Have a cool vocabulary word.  My mom just found solidus the other day, which is basically a cooler/more intelligent-sounding word for, well, slash.  Good call, Muth.  I like to have a word and use it often enough so that I might never forget it.  Then I move on to a new one.  I tought everyone insouciant a while ago, just because I found it and it's swell.  I like to use words other than "like" and "um," though they do have their place.  Places.  Oh, and recently I was bringing back forsooth, and it sort of worked.  I have friends who use forsooth now.  I love it.

The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle.  I was determined to know what it meant, because I always get it confused with the Higgs Boson thing, and after a long time of seeing stuff about the God Particle in the news, I decided to set it to rights in my head which was which.  So far, I never remember what the Higgs Boson thing is all about, but when I remember, I review the Uncertainty Principle in my head, just for kicks.  "It's impossible to simultaneously find the position and velocity of a subatomic particle.  It's impossible to simultaneously find the position and velocity of a subatomic particle."  I don't even know if that's 100% correct, but I had to break it down into layman's terms so I could even figure out what the principle was about.  No wonder they're so uncertain.

Have a favorite verse.  I read a book recently where the girl claimed the "In all things we are more than conquerors" verse and would quote it about every other page.  Personally, I'm still working on finding one.  I have different verses for different occasions.  For instance, I have a whole selection of verses for morning times.  I have Rejoice Evermore on my wall by the postcards I collect from my cool vacations, so as to remind me that ever situation and place is rejoiceable.  I (mis)quote the second half of Matthew 26:41 when I work out.  I remind myself of the first part of 2 Cor. 12:15 when I'm doing someone else's work for them and I know I should have a better attitude about it.  I I have other verses for other occasions, but I won't expand tediously on this point.  This point being that no, I don't have an all-time favorite verse.  Yet.  Perhaps I never shall.  I just sort of have a bunch I use at different times.  But I feel like I should have One Really Special Verse For All Occasions.  We shall see.

Know something cool about science.  My dad knows a lot of stuff about stars and... other sky-related things.  He has made it a habit to utilize the tools we have available to us in this modern age and learn.  That's cool.  I decided a while ago to re-learn stuff about clouds.  When I was in sixth grade or thereabouts, I had to know the difference between the cirrus and cumulus and all those types of clouds.  I'm ashamed to say that I can't remember them any more.  So I have resolved to learn something really cool (what?  clouds are cool!) and retain it in my feeble memory.

Figure out the Bible chronologically speaking.  I'm not going to lie.  For as many times as I've read through those Old Testament books, I still get hung up on which prophet was around when which king was reigning, and when those Persians came into play, and who was doing what.  It's hard to get it straight.  So I've been working on having a better grasp of what comes when.

Hepygroga.  I had a teacher in school who used to refer to geography as "hepygroga," which is an anagram of geography.  Anyhow, his point was that when you don't know where things belong, it's much more difficult to sort things out in your head.  Much like a proper chronology of the Bible is bound to help me when I read the Bible, a proper idea of geography will help me as I hear/read/observe the world around me.  Honestly, I'm terrible at geography.  The other day we were discussing In Search of the Source (great book) and whether or not the book is set in Papua New Guinea, and I couldn't even remember where that was.  So yeah, I've got work to do.  Sometimes I go to Google Maps (or Google Earth, whichever), and just sort of scroll around the world, seeking where I might learn more.  There are a lot of countries.  Goodness.

Have better handwriting.  At the urging my sister, who gently (coughcoughornotsogentlycoughcough) told me that my handwriting isn't even at an 8th grade level, I started working on handwriting with my younger sister.  We practice for about a half hour a day.  It'll probably still be an 8th grade level (I am what I am, alas), but you know what?  I'm working on it.  I am trying.

When to speak up and when to shut up.  This one speaks for itself.

Know what a gerund is.  My mom does.  She knows all those things about participles and parenthetical clauses.  I think that's genius.  To me, a gerund is confusing.  How can it do so much stuff?  I mean, "ing"ing stuff is a good enough job description, so why overachieve and perform as a subject, object, or whatever else it does?

Imaginary numbers.  I am sorry to admit, that I was rather... questionable at math.  And then I got to the part about imaginary numbers, and I thought, "They're just MAKING THIS UP????????" and I stopped paying attention.  One day I should really go back and figure out what an imaginary number is.  Honestly, I couldn't even begin to tell you.  That's so shameful.

ROY G. BIV.  Because everyone should have a tried-and-true way to remember the rainbow colors.  I also use a little acrostic (That He Just Peter Loves Grapes... virtue, praise) to help me remember Philippians 4:8.  And I still sing the Books of the Bible song in my head to help me remember where to find Ezra and Nehemiah.  I find it not at all shameful to get a little help from time to time.

Learn the rules to a game.  I one time Do Hard Things by the Harris Twins, and they said to do things outside of your comfort zone, and especially do more than just the things that come naturally to you.  So, while I don't think it's at all important in the slightest to learn the rules to football or baseball or another sports-type game that I have zero interest in whatsoever, I figure that next time somebody tries to explain such rules to me, I'll pay attention and thank them for their time.

Know when it's appropriate to follow a recipe--or not.  I've gone over this before, but but I find it easier to not follow recipes.  I'm doing my best to actually follow recipes in earnest.  It's not very fun.  I feel sorry for methodical people.

Anyhow, I could think of more things to list about, but then next time any of you ask me about it ("What kind of cloud is that?  Oh, you don't know?  What happened to that list?") I'd rather have fewer items to feel obliged to learn.  So I shall end it with this paragraph upon which you are gazing now.  This is truly the end of this post.  Now I go forth and learn, my friends!

So, I made a cake...

We had a wedding shower recently, and I was voted Most Likely To Have Time to Make a Cake, as you can see evidenced in this photo.  I'd never had to do cake decoration before, and, well, as you can tell, my idea of decorating a cake is melting chocolate chips and using a sandwich bag as a icing squirter.  Anyhow, it tasted okay, I s'pose.  Can't go wrong with those boxed cakes!

Doomed

I was just talking to my sister today about my psychological issues.  Like, for instance, the fact that I can't seem to follow a recipe.  I try.  Honestly I do.  And when I'm making cookies, for instance, I really do add all the stuff I need to, and in the correct proportions.  For instance, 4 1/4 c. of flour?  no problems.  But sometimes I get tired of measuring stuff.  I made 8 dozen cookies every week for the past month and didn't once measure the shortening.  So... there's that.

But really, when I look at recipes it's to get inspiration.  Like I told my sister, it's like a colorful inspiration book with cool pictures.  I like to see what other people have done, but the whole "one cup chopped celery" is beyond me.  It bothers me to measure stuff.  I prefer to add spices until I think it smells right.  That's how I cook.

I should practice following actual recipes one time, just to make sure I know how.  Seriously.  No worcestershire sauce and cumin just for fun next time.

Ah, for the time

I glumly sit around at work every afternoon and think, "I could be cooking!" It seems silly, I guess, because I know that one day I'll be cooking more than I ever wanted, but I really miss having the time to cook. Every once in a while I'll have time when I get home from work, but we're a rather regimented family when it comes to meals, and when I get home is the time where we sit down and get started, so I usually end up just being there for the partaking, and not the making.

I bake for my Sunday School class once a week, but I've never liked baking as much as cooking "real food," and since the girls in my class mostly just like chocolate chip muffins, anyhow, it's not like I branch out to very much other stuff.

This just came up because I was ogling the Williams-Sonoma website (best recipes ever! Well, best pictures of recipes, at any rate) and wishing I could make some asparagus or something. Guess that means I'd have to, you know, buy some asparagus, but it always seems more fun in the Idea Stage.

Not to say that I've totally moved on from AllRecipes.com, because I'm not about to do that. They're my go-to recipe site, and I shall not be moved!

Bop to the top

I hate money. And I love it. I hate it because it seems to bring out the worst in people, and seems to cause undue worry (or not so undue, seeing as when people stress about money it's typically because they don't have enough). But I like that, well, it buys things. I'm sure we don't need half of the things we have, but sometimes it's just nice to have that extra purse. Disclaimer: I'm not actually sure I've ever purchased a purse. I don't like to spend money on something that feels thusly superfluous.

I just think it's interesting to read about money in the Bible. When the woman in Luke 15 lost her silver coin, she didn't shrug and say, "Well, I guess the Lord is teaching me a lesson about valuing earthly treasures," and let it be. No, she spent the time to sweep her house and find that money (I think I might too, if a tenth of my wealth suddenly got lost).

But we're not supposed to worry about money. Remember the thing about the lilies? They're clothed, and our Father in Heaven will likewise clothe us. But with a limited income, it's hard to view things that way. After all, when Peter needed tax money, he just went down to the water and got it from the mouth of the fish. When we do taxes these days, it's a little more complicated. Add to that the fact that most people pay utilities, insurance, monthly payments on their cars, mortgages, and buy food. Money like that doesn't just grow in fishes mouths.

Fine then. If a man doesn't work, neither shall he eat. But it's not just about food and raiment these days. We live in houses, we send kids to college, we put gasoline in our cars. Could we get by without those things? I guess. I mean, plenty of people live in cars or under bridges due to the whole lack-of-money thing. Plenty of other people choose to live in motor homes to avoid mortgages and utility bills.

I'm not saying it's wrong to live in a house (personally, I love my house. And my bed. And the fact that I have a closet). I'm just saying, though, that it bothers me that money is such a prevalent issue with, well, everyone. What's the most irritating, however, is the people who have "enough money" (code word: more money than I'll ever have) who worry about money. I certainly don't approve of spending money frivolously (unless you want to send me on vacation, in which case I recommend spending money lavishly, thank you), but it rubs me the wrong way when people with money begrudge sharing that money.

I spend money on a budget. A certain amount (read: most) of my money goes towards my ahh-I'll-have-a-mortgage-one-day fund, and another amount (read: a small amount) goes towards my ehh-I'll-spend-it fund (which, by the way, mostly funds my weekly baking sessions for my Sunday School class). I think my problem is that I judge too harshly. When I see people struggling financially and know that there is at least one area in their life in which they spend money needlessly, I always sort of quirk an eyebrow and think, "But if you just..."

Which is terrible. I have no place to worry about why people are or aren't spending money. Plus, I sort of OD'd on Larry Burkett back in the day, so I think I know all the pat answers, but since I really haven't had to live them, it's not worth much.

Moral of story? Money is complicated. The end.

I never did like to brush my hair...

Sometimes I have these little epiphany moments in life wherein I realize that I'm pretty much exactly the same now as I was when I was a child, only, well... taller. Most times these moments strike me due to things I do or say that remind me that you don't cease to be a child unless you're willing to put away those childish things (Paul was way ahead of me). Sometimes I find these childish vestiges of me in old essays, notebooks, or journals of mine, but I recently managed to find a quote from an old school paper of a sister of mine that made me laugh. She had done character sketches of each member of our family, stating how old they were and a little thing or two about their life at that moment (K was sixteen, just gotten her drivers license, C was a baby and just sort of hung around, etc.), and reading mine was like reading something she might have written about me today. It was in the fall of 1996, and this was her perception of me:

"Jo is six years old and in second grade. She enjoys making lunches and singing more than brushing her hair!"

Switch out "lunches" for "suppers" and "six" for "twenty," and it would be as believable now as it was then.

Of course, now I'm plagued with questions about whether or not posterity can get a grasp on what I was really like without having access to the papers and musings of all of my siblings. I've been considering staging a takeover of all relevant papers, but have determined that since the Lord is coming soon, I don't have to worry about such not-entirely-kosher activities. I shudder to consider the full extent of damage I could cause to all of my familial relationships...