Morning morning morning

I'm not a huge morning person, a fact to which most of my friends and relatives will attest. However, no matter how much they still joke about my terrible personality in the morning, they have to admit that I really haven't been my "regular" grumpy self in the mornings for at least a year or two. I've made a concerted effort to not grump around in the mornings. (Oh, and I'd like to point out that my waking-up ability is far stellar than a good portion of people I know, so I certainly have that going for me, sorry, lovers-of-the-snooze-alarm.)

I decided one day a while ago that I was done being grumpy. I certainly wasn't winning friends or influencing people (except to influence them more towards the grumpsterly side of things) by grouching around in the mornings, and I certainly wasn't being a very good testimony to anybody. So in the mornings, when I wake up, I immediately fill my head with three things. One: This is the day that the Lord has made, I will be glad, and rejoice in it!! Two: Lord, help me to have a good day. And three: Lord, help me to do everything I do to the best of my ability.

Mind you, I jump out of bed to turn off my alarm clock, which means I'm usually standing up by the time I get around to thinking all those things, but they're certainly the first things I think. Which, as it turns out, may actually be helping after all. The other morning I was out and about quite early, and I happened to smile at some lady who stopped in her tracks and told me that I had a nice smile, at which point someone else (who I don't really know, they apparently just pretend they know me) told her that I was "always so cheerful in the mornings." Really? Me? Cheerful? In the mornings???

Wonders never cease.

I think it's just because His mercies are new every morning. No matter how early that morning may come, He's always got something wonderful in store for me. It's a good feeling.

All about Love

"If ye love me, keep my commandments." John 14:15

That verse tends to be a good reminder for me. When I do something wrong it doesn't mean that I don't love the Lord any more, but it means that my desire should always be to keep his commandments because I love him. Not out of duty or a sense or moral right and wrong, but rather that I love Him.

I was thinking about love even before work today, where I was informed that it was my duty to "love the plants" so they'll stop dying. I'm supposed to talk to them and remind them that they're doing a good job. Sometimes I can't believe they still pay me.

A moment for reflection

We've all lost someone, or something. None of us remain untouched by the sorrows of death, even if we somehow think that our loss might not be as life-shattering as the next guy's.

We have a guest in our home right now, and he was sharing the most incredible things last night. He recounted how approximately fifteen years ago, he went to a home-schooling gathering to pick up a bunch of children for a time at the gym, and was met by several frazzled mothers. Not thinking anything about it, he joked that if he didn't know better, he'd think they were upset at him. It turns out, they weren't upset, they were worried... for him. The police were trying to get a hold of him, his family was in an accident, and all sorts of doctors were trying to reach him. He rushed in the building to call the doctors. It started out with mostly good news--his son was being released right then. The next doctor reported that his wife and one of his girls were both in surgery, more news later. The last doctor had news about one of his other girls. The doctor had never seen someone survive an injury like that before.

Our friend described how awful it all was; how difficult those moments were. As he was leaving a few of the mothers offered to go with him, or drive him, or help somehow. He wanted to go alone, he told them, but he was very thirsty, and could someone bring him something to drink?

"Can you imagine what would have compelled someone, in my moment of grief, to bring me some vinegar to drink?" He asked us last night.

That's when I started crying. Not just because I know the family, and know the twin of the girl who ended up dying in that accident, but because he made such a good point. To think that Christ, in His moments of suffering, had been brought vinegar to quench his thirst. The disregard of the world, having nothing but thorns and nails to offer, stooped to a place that wouldn't allow the simple kindness of water to quench His thirst. The Man Who was the Living Water was made like the scum of the earth by dying on the cross.

Puts it in perspective, doesn't it?

Back to Up

I mentioned the Disney/Pixar movie Up a few weeks ago, and I was pondering it the other day. And today, I guess.

A fact about me: I'm not romantically attached to anybody in any particular way. Thankfully. =) One day I might be ready. Moving on.

So here's the deal: sometimes I wonder if love is worth it. That quote from Tennyson, the one that goes, "'Tis better to have lost and lost/ than to have never loved at all," always struck a nerve with me, if that makes any sense. Sometimes I'm convinced that love isn't worth it. First, look at the percentages of marriages that don't last. Oh, and pause and consider the number of marriages that have lasted, but as a technicality, because the marriage itself hasn't held up internally. Then consider the people who aren't in marriages yet have crummy relationships.

And that's just marriage. Don't get me started on the games people play before they get to that point.

Sure, marriage seems scary and like a lot of work. This much we all recognize. But what scares me worse than that is the thought that one day, after you've worked through the agonizing parts, and come out stronger on the other side, blah blah blah, if the Lord doesn't come... well, that spouse (or you, whichever) is going to die. Raptured or dead, those are the only options. Doesn't that sound cynical? News flash, I am sort of cynical.

So we've determined that I'm cynical and that marriage seems big and scary. What does this have to do with Up?

For those who have seen the movie, they will immediately remember the first 11 minutes of the film, wherein a touching story is shown of the life of Carl and Ellie, a couple who went through a lot (death of a child=supposedly one of the worst things that can happen to a person, though I don't know from personal experience), and lived life to the fullest. Until Ellie died. Bummer.

But it was so sad! And even at the end of the movie, when I knew that Carl was happy and hanging out with his newest pal Russell, it was sad, because I knew that for every day Carl was enjoying his favorite activities with Russell, it must have hurt him, because those were Ellie's favorite places, too.

Odd to consider this in such depth, but I'm sort of an odd duck.

So there we have it. Loving and losing sounds frightening. Everyone says it's worth it, but this girl needs a little more convincing.

Bother it all

Sometimes things frustrate me. No idea why (other than the obvious I-have-a-sinful-flesh thing), but sometimes things just set me off. If I can't do something, and I'm sure I should know how and I'm convinced it's all my fault, I'm liable to go into a tail spin. Not sure why, because in most areas of life I'm able to just let things blow over, but certain things just drive me insane.

It's so easy to say that, well, I'm a sinner and it's not like anybody's perfect all the time, but truth be told, that's no excuse. I have Christ living in me, so there's no excuse to sin.

Interjection: I think that would be a hilarious bumper sticker; "There's no excuse to sin."

Back to the actual subject, I think it's vaguely sad that I have to keep coming back to this. Shouldn't I just be able to stop sinning, done and done? Thing is, I don't let the power of Christ work in me. I just do my own stubborn thing. AHH!!

Lent

So, I think Lent is crazy. If you wanted to give something up to one-up your flesh or whatever (still not sure I understand Lent, truth be told) then you should do it at any time. Like I decided caffeine was bad for me, and stopped taking it. Done and done. My sister gave up gluten for Lent last year, my best friend went off Chipotle, and last year I gave up nothing. This year, for some reason, I got sucked into the whole Lenten celebration (oops, Lent is supposed to be sad), and have given up... cheese.

Why cheese? Well, as I was explaining to someone the other day, I don't have a lot of vices to speak of. I don't spend a lot of money using a bank card of any sort (someone suggested that I use only cash during Lent). I don't drink or smoke, I don't drink coffee or any such habitual drink (no caffeine, remember?). I can't give up "worldly music" because they play it at work, and I don't think I could convince them to not turn on the radio for the next month and a half. If I didn't hold a job, it would make sense for me to not read fiction during Lent, but truth be told, I rarely get time to read these days, so it wouldn't feel like I was actually giving something up. Ditto movies, I don't even have time to watch them, nor the inclination, nor the ability. So that left me with... cheese.

But again, why cheese? Well, in my family, cheese is a big deal. Not that we gather round and give thanks to the brilliant men who first figured out how to make cheese delicious, but rather that we eat it a lot. Eggs, casseroles, spaghetti, macaroni, quesadillas, pretty much everything we make in a jiffy has cheese involved. Meals without cheese take more time, because they require actual planning involving flavour not derived from cheese.

So fare thee well, cheese, I shall devour thee once again come Easter.

Oh, the best part of Lent this year? My two best friends are giving up pop and going out to eat, respectively. I think we'll all be a little worse for the wear by the time it's all over. Huzzah to strength in numbers!

Snow

It's nice to consider snow from the Bible--I like that. But to consider snow all the time because it just won't stop snowing is another thing entirely. We've broken our February record for inches of snow, and it's only the 16th! I hesitate to think of what it might take to break the record in future years. The cold and snow won't go away!

Take that, global warming.

Valentine's Day

First of all, I am NOT one of those people who hate Valentine's Day. I think it's a cute holiday, and if people want to buy cards and chocolate, that's totally fine with me. I do think it's funny though, the whole emphasis we put on love just once a year.

I serve a God of love, and He's year-round. I love that.

That's all.

What's my responsibility?

A question. As a Christian, I am joyful, because Christ lives in my heart. I am truly happy, honestly I am. However, as a person who has to live in this present evil world, I sometimes get caught up in less-than-pleasant things that drag my spirits down. Small things (in light of eternity, anyhow) have a tendency to make me sort of slump down sometimes.

But as a person whose life is lived in light of eternity, and with the world looking on, am I supposed to show that less-than-happy side of me? Is it good, because they're seeing that Christians are humans, too? or is it bad, because I'm not allowing the peace of God to permeate my heart?

You raise me UP

So maybe this is lame, but I happened to see "Up" the Disney/Pixar movie, not that long ago, and I just want to go on record as saying that I mostly loved it.

I hadn't heard very good things about it, I'd heard that it was too scary, and that there wasn't enough talking. Huh. Well, by the time I was ten minutes into the movie, I was bawling my eyes out. There were times I thought it got too scary for children, but this is why children shouldn't see movies like this. Small children should still be watching "Tinker Bell's Big Day at the Zoo" or something like that. But, back to Up.

I thought the story was one of the best in terms of emotional plots from a kid's movie I'd seen in a while. Carl and Ellie's story was one of the best I'd seen in terms of married cartoons. Seriously.

I could wax on and on about the merits and demerits of this movie, but I'll spare you all. Suffice it to say that I found yet another movie I approved of. Good work, Pixar.