Adios!

Dear 2010,

You were actually a really great year.  I must say, sometimes I wish I didn't have to learn so many lessons, and this past year was no exception, but in general, you treated me well.

I grew closer to my family, and I deepened my relationship with my friends and the Lord.  You can't really ask for more than that.  There were times when I was down, and days seemed long, and life seemed complicated (2011, I hope you're listening--I hate complications!), but the Lord was always there, providing.

Soon you'll be history, 2010, and, providing the Lord doesn't come first, we'll look back on you fondly.  So thanks for being willing to devote every single one of your 356 days to those of us who used them to enrich our memory banks.

Love,
Me

Another day

I have been exceedingly busy recently, working on some projects which are nearing completion.  I must say, projects are fun to dream about, but the execution thereof is usually trickier than I expect.

Which means...  this morning I woke up at 4:30, worried that I wouldn't have time to finish everything I wanted to get done.  Thankfully, it paid off and I've accomplished a lot!

None of this is very interesting, but since I've been awake since 4:30 I don't think I should be expected to have profound thoughts.

That's all.

Memories

I love memories.  I love the fact that the Lord installed in us the ability to imprint things on our mind--sometimes bad or ugly, but a lot of good, too!  Looking back on things is such an amazing part of life.  And when we got old, sometimes memories are all one has.  And then even the memories leave, but the One who gave us the memories in the first place, and the joy of remembering, He's still there.

Forever is a long time.  Even longer than the supposedly indelible memories we form, He is there.  And it's Forever that gives us hope, and from hope springs those days from which our favorite memories are made.

A little update

The grandparents are doing well, my job is about a day and a half away from being done, and life is good, albeit busy!

I just finished reading Psalms and it made me remember how much I love that book.  I really can't say that there are parts of the Bible I like less or more than others (though there seem to be parts of the Bible I'm more enthusiastic about!) but there's something about reading through Psalms and picturing David at the different stages at his life, sometimes rejoicing, vibrant and secure, and other times writing with a despairing hand.  It feels like an intimate glance at his life, where you learn more about the author than the subject in most of the Psalms.  Of course, about half of the Psalms were written by other authors (Asaph, Moses, Korah, Solomon, some others) but when I read the Psalms I like to picture the shepherd David, growing from boy to King with a pen in his hand and praise on his lips.  I want to be more like David.  Only, well, minus the adultery and Kingdom and enemies.  So....  pretty much I take that back.  Never mind.

Saying good-bye

As much as I don't like my job, there are certain things I'll miss.  For one, my co-worker.  I'll very much miss her.  But I'll also miss some of the clients we have.  Since I've been here for over a year now (lasting longer than most of the 30-some people who have come before me) a lot of the customers are used to me answering the phones and calling them to try to coerce them into making their payments (not as easy as it sounds!).  Being as such, I feel a certain kinship with several of the clients.

On Friday someone called the office to get a quote, and I asked how they heard of our agency, and she said that her niece had referred her, and had been told to ask for me specifically.  I felt a little flattered, I'm not going to lie.  And then today, I called someone to remind them to pay his daughter's auto insurance, and it was someone I'd worked extensively with earlier this year to sort out some problems, and he was all chatty on the phone, asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and we talked for a few minutes before we both had to go back to work, and I realized that I'd sort of miss that:  talking to random strangers and forging make-believe friendships.

But the thing I'll miss the most, more than the people (well, I'll miss my co-worker more, but not our clients) is the library.  It was awesome to have that library (plus, it's the wedding library!) so close, and to have an extra pool from which I could use to satisfy my bookish brain.  I'll miss it.  If I didn't live half an hour away I'd certainly be back from time to time, if only to say howdy to my library.

This isn't to say that I regret quitting.  I honestly feel such continued peace about it, and am thankful for the details that are working out so well.  Hello, new chapter!

The Bible in 50 words

This was another forward I got, but I thought it was a fun read!  I'd love to see a picture book of this...  It would be a good journey through the Bible for youngsters.  And those of us who just love to read picture books!

"God made
Adam disobeyed
Noah flooded
Abraham started
Joseph ruled
Jacob fooled
Bush speaking
Moses leading
Pharaoh balked
People walked
Sea divided
Tablets guided
Promise landed
Saul freaked
David peeked
Prophets warned
Jesus born
God walked
Love talked
Anger crucified
Jesus died
Resurrection morning
Spirit adorning
Word spread
Jesus wed"

Santa and co.

Last winter I was telling my family about how I had only just then realized that the Santa Claus that Mommy was kissing was really the dad, at which point my whole family (with the exception of my dad, who is smarter than the rest of us, apparently) looked askance and, with light-bulb-like realization said, "ohh!!"

Yeah, I'd just never realized what the song had been saying.  I always thought it was an irritating song with slightly naughty connotations.  Then one day I realized, wait!  the dad is dressed up as Santa!  Hence all the references to "wouldn't it be funny if daddy had walked in," or however it goes.

Anyhow, I heard that song again the other day and it made me laugh.

Upside-up

When our family reads the Bible in the evenings, we have some rather odd traditions.  Well, I guess only one truly odd one.  Our Uno-like fashion of reading has mostly been relegated to breakfast readings, and in the evening we do nearly everything regular-type except for the fact that we read with our Bibles upside down.  And when we have company we let them choose for themselves, but we still read upside down, as there's no reason to change just for the sake of company.

So Monday night we had a friend of the family over, and, come time for Bible reading, we explained that we read upside down and he was welcome to join us.  So he did, no big deal, and read quite well.  Afterwards, he told us that he was pretty sure that it was easier, due to his dyslexia (I agree!  You see the word more clearly as a whole, and have less chance to mix up the interior letters).  I had no idea he suffered from dyslexia, but he said that it was so bad he was pretty sure that he would have gotten into Heaven even without getting saved.  : )  This may or may not be an exaggeration, but he and I had an amusing conversation about our dyslexic tendencies.

I've always claimed a little dyslexia.  Try to get me to tell my left from my right and you'd be hard-pressed to get a quick answer.  I mix up words and write backwards and when I look at the letter "s" I still don't know if it's forward or backward.  But I'm pretty sure that reading was just so important in my house that I never got the chance to be dyslexic.  Other kids would have been diagnosed and fretted over, but not us!  When I was quite young (I learned to read by the age of five or something, so it had to have been before that) I remember saying that I was special because I couldn't read yet, and all of my older siblings could, therefore I was special.  My logic has never been all that sharp.

So I'm thankful that reading was just something that we learned to do, somewhat akin to walking and holding a spoon correctly.  I can read just fine (mostly...) and feel that I'm not handicapped in any way.  And the knowledge I glean from reading is well worth the occasional mix-up of "scarred" and "scared."

Plus, if it ever gets confusing, I guess I could start reading everything upside down!

Let it snow!

I love snow.  I hate to drive in it, but in general, those big fluffy flakes that you see outside?  Huge fan.

Only problem is, snow makes me want to be inside, by a fire, reading a book, or possibly napping.  In other words, I don't feel like doing anything whilst it's snowing prettily.

Too bad life always must go on.

How do you know?

Even though I've done many things in my life that I'm sure the Lord OK'd, it's still sort of a mystery to me how exactly it is that we know.  A lot of it has to do with feeling of peace we get when we are poised to do something that it seems He's approving of (this isn't the end of a sentence, I can use a preposition if I need to!), but it's sort of a far cry from an exact science.

I've been praying for quite a while about quitting my job.  Recently a few other work-type options seemed to pop up, and then fall through, and I was sort of left without other things to do.  Now, I've had three jobs thus far, the dental assisting (haha, that was an easy job to land, thanks, Dad), the nannying (it was more like babysitting, actually, but hey, I didn't complain), and the insurance job I have now.  Each one was orchestrated of the Lord--I literally had to do nothing to get them, and they each provided what I need, and worked with my schedule exactly just so.  Before I got my current job, the insurance gig, I felt at loose ends.  The nanny thing was no longer an option (full-time school?  What is that all about?), and my grandmother with whom I had been helping frequently had just passed away, so I would no longer be needed there, either.  I remember frantically looking for a job for a while, till an older woman whom I respect very much told me that I should use my time at home to help my mom.

Good point.  I stopped looking for a job, focused on helped my mom at home (it was the start of Hobby Class season, so there was plenty to be done!), and let the job part rest.  Then, a friend of mine told me that she was shortly leaving her insurance job and that if I sent her my resume she'd get me a job there.  I put it off for a few days, and then sent her the resume, only to get (and start!) the job within a week.  I've been there for over a year, and have known for a while now that my time was pretty much up.  But that left the question, what do I do without a job?  Before I had a "real job" I kept very busy, this much is true (my friends with jobs would frequently say that I seemed busier than they were, which I don't understand, because now with my real job I'm busier than ever, but anyhow, that's beside the point), but I was hesitant.  Did I just quit with no prospects; go back to being a stay-at-home daughter and granddaughter?

This past weekend I was in St. Louis.  I was praying about the job situation, because I felt it was just time.  Time to be done, time to move on to whatever else the Lord had for me.  So I decided that I would come home, work a week, and then turn in my resignation on Monday (the upcoming one, the 6th).  Well, on Monday (the one we just had, the 29th), I'd been back at work for about four hours, and all of a sudden I stopped and thought, "Is it now?  Should I quit now?"  Quit, obviously, being code-word for two weeks' notice.  Anyhow, I was in the conference room when I had this thought, and literally stopped in my tracks.  I had no idea what I should do, and actually dropped to my knees on the floor of the conference room, right then and there, and begged the Lord for guidance.  Something told me to wait, so I did.  I got up, finished cleaning off the table in the conference room, and went back to work.

But Wednesday.  That felt like the day.  I had woken up that morning and felt peace.  It was time.  So that day (there's a longer version of the story, but I'll spare you) I talked to my boss and co-worker and explained that I was leaving.  It didn't go so well (again, another story), but the moral of that story is, I'll be here for another two weeks, and then I'll be through.

At that time, I had no idea what I'd be doing.  None.  There are leads on a potential nanny job, but who knows if that'll work out.  I got home for dinner that night, only to hear that my grandfather wasn't doing well, and would perhaps shortly be admitted to the hospital.  We went over and visited with them, and he seemed to be doing fairly well, as did my grandma.

But then yesterday, my grandma had a stroke.  As of right now, I'm not sure exactly what that means for the future, but it means at least some time in physical therapy and other such doctor-related visits.  So we have a grandpa who has kidney failure, and a grandma with a stroke, and a granddaughter who shortly will not have a job.

So I still don't know what I'm doing.  Maybe in two weeks they'll be somehow all better, or maybe they'll be with the Lord.  I don't know what a day will bring forth, but I know that if they still need help in two weeks, I'll be free to help.

It's times like this that make me so incredibly thankful that following the Lord's directives really works.

Anyhow, sorry, I didn't set out to tell this whole lengthy story, but I started writing and this is what came out, so...  well, enjoy!

200

Today is the second day of the month.  Two.  A nice number.  Most especially since today is (drum roll, please) my 200th post!

Can you tell I have nothing to say?

Except that (wait for it!) I gave my two weeks' notice at my job (!) and the Lord immediately gave me something new with which to occupy my time.  I knew He'd provide something.  And I feel peace about it.

So happy December 2, my friends.  May the next two hundred posts find you well, and at peace.

Perfect Peace

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee: because he trusteth in Thee.  Isaiah 26:3

This morning I woke up and felt peace.  It was a beautiful feeling.  I've been a little stressed about a few things recently, mostly work-related, and I've been waking up early the past few mornings, praying before I'm even awake, but this morning I felt calm.  Happy, as a matter of fact.  It's a good feeling.