I rarely ever hear songs by The Afters, but I happened to hear one this week that struck me as kind of up my alley. I don't actually remember much of what the song sounded like, but I looked up the lyrics when I got home because I was pretty sure that the words intrigued me. Either that, or I'd heard them totally wrong. But no, I'd heard them right.
"The World's got me tied on a string/Wanderlust has overcome me/Like Lewis and Clark I'll dream/There's a million different ways to go/Only God can know where I will call my home."
I actually have no idea what the point of this song is. I sort of get the impression that perhaps they wanted a few filler songs for a CD and just decided this one was good enough. Not that I dislike it, but I literally have no idea what the point of it is. It's called "Love Lead Me On" and the entirety of the chorus goes as follows: "Love lead me on/Where no one else has gone/Faith keep me strong/Love lead me on."
It also rambles about finding home, and love, and picture perfect sunsets, so I'm pretty sure it's just a feel-good song about finding home, but I mostly liked the lines about wanderlust and Lewis and Clark. One of my friends and I used to play Lewis and Clark (I'm pretty sure I was Lewis) and we were masterful waterfall jumpers. It was pretty swell.
I have a friend who is going to school to be a guidance counselor, and he's already pretty good at it. We'll be having a conversation and suddenly I'll realize that I'm just rambling about all sorts of stuff I normally wouldn't. It's rather unsettling, actually. That being said, I was talking about traveling the other day, and he asked me, "Do you get antsy if you stay in one place for too long?"
I had no idea what to tell him. I don't even remember the last time I stayed in one place for a long time. At least one weekend a month I'm somewhere else--anywhere else! And it's not that I don't love my family, or my home (because I love both, very much), but I'm just always doing other things on the weekends. It was odd for me to take a step back and look at myself the way others must see me. I know there are some people who think I'm out and about too much, that I should be home more.
But... I am pretty tight with my family. We eat two meals a day together, we discuss anything and everything whenever we have spare minutes, we travel places together when we get the chance, I ask my parents for advice about most things (even crazy-sounding things, so they can talk me out of it), and my siblings and I are incredibly close.
So, does my traveling a lot mean I'm escaping from something? Because I can't think of what I'd be running from, or what I'd be trying to run toward. My home is just that: Home. I wouldn't want to think I'm out trying to find another place to belong. I'm just out to find that perfect sunset, to play Lewis and Clark and make discoveries worth discussing at the dinner table.
I like to think of it like T. S. Eliot always said: "We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."
Friday, July 23, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Second Chances
My brother and I were talking about second chances the other day. Sure, there are second chances, but can we really go back to the way things were? When something starts over can it really be a continuation of the original product, or does it have to be built on a new foundation?
Actually, we weren't really getting that philosophical about it, it went more like this:
My brother: "It was stupid that [so-and-so] said that they could never start again."
Me: "I know, right?"
But I sort of ended up thinking about it a little more on the side, so these thoughts were what I've been pondering about it.
The song Castaway by Chasen (love these guys!) always reminds me of this thought. The last line of the chorus says, "And I know You gave me a gift of a second chance." Even though I was saved when I was quite young, and sometimes bemoan the fact that I don't have a dramatic story of being saved from a live of unhealthy addictions (actually, I'm fine with that fact, trust me), I still love knowing that my whole life is a second chance. And when I mess up (and I do, sigh), the Lord stands, waiting, holding out His hands, willing to give me that second chance.
It's only through His grace that such opportunities exist. His grace extended to Rahab, giving her a whole new life, a new chance, and a lineage of joy. To King David a second chance was given, even after his indiscretion with Bathsheba and murder of Uriah. To me, when I stray, and cease to seek His voice in favor of my own way, He stands, giving chance after chance.
Oh, plus, there's Israel. Nearly every chapter in the Bible has an account of yet another time the Lord gave them yet another chance, and saved their day yet again.
He's a God of second chances. And even though we humans are weak and can't go back to where things started and truly start anew, God can. The cross was the starting point for all of our second chances, and through his gift to us of our second life, we have the assurance of knowing that in His eyes, we begin through the work of the cross. My second chance is possible because of His sacrifice. My eternal life--and rescue from the second death--is mirrored out in everything I do, or He does through me, because Jesus Christ gave His life for me.
It makes every day worth living. And every second chance that we extend, worth giving.
Actually, we weren't really getting that philosophical about it, it went more like this:
My brother: "It was stupid that [so-and-so] said that they could never start again."
Me: "I know, right?"
But I sort of ended up thinking about it a little more on the side, so these thoughts were what I've been pondering about it.
The song Castaway by Chasen (love these guys!) always reminds me of this thought. The last line of the chorus says, "And I know You gave me a gift of a second chance." Even though I was saved when I was quite young, and sometimes bemoan the fact that I don't have a dramatic story of being saved from a live of unhealthy addictions (actually, I'm fine with that fact, trust me), I still love knowing that my whole life is a second chance. And when I mess up (and I do, sigh), the Lord stands, waiting, holding out His hands, willing to give me that second chance.
It's only through His grace that such opportunities exist. His grace extended to Rahab, giving her a whole new life, a new chance, and a lineage of joy. To King David a second chance was given, even after his indiscretion with Bathsheba and murder of Uriah. To me, when I stray, and cease to seek His voice in favor of my own way, He stands, giving chance after chance.
Oh, plus, there's Israel. Nearly every chapter in the Bible has an account of yet another time the Lord gave them yet another chance, and saved their day yet again.
He's a God of second chances. And even though we humans are weak and can't go back to where things started and truly start anew, God can. The cross was the starting point for all of our second chances, and through his gift to us of our second life, we have the assurance of knowing that in His eyes, we begin through the work of the cross. My second chance is possible because of His sacrifice. My eternal life--and rescue from the second death--is mirrored out in everything I do, or He does through me, because Jesus Christ gave His life for me.
It makes every day worth living. And every second chance that we extend, worth giving.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Satisfaction
In general, I don't think of myself as dissatisfied. Honestly, in general, I'm pretty willing to go at least part of the extra mile, and I was raised to be content with such things as I have.
As such, I don't know when too much is genuinely too much. For instance, if a person hypothetically decided that their job was crazy, and thought it was time to move on, would that appear as being discontent with the job they had? And if this person decided that really, they'd rather be doing something else, would that be viewed as being a quitter? This person wasn't raised to quit when the going got tough, but I think this hypothetical person was also raised to realize that if something is insane, it's OK to bow out.
Food for thought. You know, for no reason.
Though I will admit, someone made a comment to me a few weeks ago that sort of changed the way I look at my work. I said that I was pretty much just a glorified secretary and this person said that that was great, and told me that I was a servant of the Lord cleverly disguised as a secretary.
So true, so true.
But I can serve Him anywhere, is what I'm thinking, and does it have to be at this exact job?
As such, I don't know when too much is genuinely too much. For instance, if a person hypothetically decided that their job was crazy, and thought it was time to move on, would that appear as being discontent with the job they had? And if this person decided that really, they'd rather be doing something else, would that be viewed as being a quitter? This person wasn't raised to quit when the going got tough, but I think this hypothetical person was also raised to realize that if something is insane, it's OK to bow out.
Food for thought. You know, for no reason.
Though I will admit, someone made a comment to me a few weeks ago that sort of changed the way I look at my work. I said that I was pretty much just a glorified secretary and this person said that that was great, and told me that I was a servant of the Lord cleverly disguised as a secretary.
So true, so true.
But I can serve Him anywhere, is what I'm thinking, and does it have to be at this exact job?
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
No small wonder
I love books. We all know this. All kinds--big, little, boring, fat, picture, memoir, hilarious, odd, anger-inducing, calming, whatever. But I do especially love children's books.
Which is handy because... my co-worker is going to school to be a children's librarian. It's pretty much awesome, because we're always going off on these random conversations about illustrators and authors and genres and subtle lessons. She's taking a children's literature class that talks a lot about Caldecott books, which is fun for me personally, because one summer I decided to read every single Caldecott book I could find. I ended up reading all of the Winners and a good portion of the medal-winners, and still reminisce fondly on those picture-book-heavy days. Good stuff.
But our conversations are so hilarious. We both love the same edition of A Child's Garden of Verses because the illustrator was a genius (actually, Gyo Fujikawa is one of my mom's all-time favorite illustrators because of this book. I think that's why I love it so much), and our conversations about Crockett Johnson go like this.
Co-worker: "Crocket Johnson--"
Me: "Sheer genius!"
Not very work-inducing, but a good way to keep spirits up in the office.
Which is handy because... my co-worker is going to school to be a children's librarian. It's pretty much awesome, because we're always going off on these random conversations about illustrators and authors and genres and subtle lessons. She's taking a children's literature class that talks a lot about Caldecott books, which is fun for me personally, because one summer I decided to read every single Caldecott book I could find. I ended up reading all of the Winners and a good portion of the medal-winners, and still reminisce fondly on those picture-book-heavy days. Good stuff.
But our conversations are so hilarious. We both love the same edition of A Child's Garden of Verses because the illustrator was a genius (actually, Gyo Fujikawa is one of my mom's all-time favorite illustrators because of this book. I think that's why I love it so much), and our conversations about Crockett Johnson go like this.
Co-worker: "Crocket Johnson--"
Me: "Sheer genius!"
Not very work-inducing, but a good way to keep spirits up in the office.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Do I seem desperate?
For some reason I've been getting a lot of relationship advice recently. I have no idea if suddenly I got a neon flashing light that says "I DESPERATELY NEED YOUR ADVICE" or something, but for some reason I've been getting loads of it. Yesterday at Sunday School a little boy asked me how old I was and followed with, "Do you got a husband?" When I told him no, he was rather shocked, and said, "Why not? Don't you know how to get one?" That's clearly everyone elses question, as well. Here's a sampling (sadly, I do mean sampling. Most of these are condensed from much longer commentaries) from the last week and a half or so.
From the lady at the YMCA (pardon, Y, they recently changed it): Make sure to decide how many children you want, because you won't often just naturally agree.
From my boss: If you've found the guy who gives you the last piece of chocolate cake you'll know he's the one for you.
From the lady at the grocery store: "Sweetie, just make sure, whatever you do, to not lower your expectations."
From the guy who works at the auto-body shop: Oh, you'll wake up one day and say, "this is it? the house? the kids? the husband?" so just make sure you have someone you don't mind being stuck with.
From the lady who was paying a bill: Don't expect very many flowers. I don't know who started that story, but they never bring flowers.
From a random person at the office: It's all fun and games until you have stretch marks.
From my friend Mrs. B: Why aren't you married yet? =P
All in all, it's not like any of what they've been saying is specifically pointing at any major flaws (that I can), as if they're trying to gently help me out, but rather these people are just saying this sort of thing for fun. Is it because I'm "of age"? It's kind of freaking me out, because I'm neither desperate nor worried.
I just thought I should share.
From the lady at the YMCA (pardon, Y, they recently changed it): Make sure to decide how many children you want, because you won't often just naturally agree.
From my boss: If you've found the guy who gives you the last piece of chocolate cake you'll know he's the one for you.
From the lady at the grocery store: "Sweetie, just make sure, whatever you do, to not lower your expectations."
From the guy who works at the auto-body shop: Oh, you'll wake up one day and say, "this is it? the house? the kids? the husband?" so just make sure you have someone you don't mind being stuck with.
From the lady who was paying a bill: Don't expect very many flowers. I don't know who started that story, but they never bring flowers.
From a random person at the office: It's all fun and games until you have stretch marks.
From my friend Mrs. B: Why aren't you married yet? =P
All in all, it's not like any of what they've been saying is specifically pointing at any major flaws (that I can), as if they're trying to gently help me out, but rather these people are just saying this sort of thing for fun. Is it because I'm "of age"? It's kind of freaking me out, because I'm neither desperate nor worried.
I just thought I should share.
Friday, July 16, 2010
A wi(n)g and a prayer
About every summer I start pondering my hair. Not that I'm vain (I mean, I'm sure I am, but that's not the point I was feebly attempting to make), but that I donate it every year or two. I just donated ten inches last summer to Locks of Love and I while I usually wait longer, I think I'm ready for another hair cut. I can't decide. I definitely wouldn't go over the requisite ten inches (one time I did seventeen. That was intense), but I think I'm OK with ten.
This really isn't important in the least, but I was thinking about it today and thought I'd share. If I do chop it again I'll try to post some photos. Maybe.
I'm not very definitive today, am I?
This really isn't important in the least, but I was thinking about it today and thought I'd share. If I do chop it again I'll try to post some photos. Maybe.
I'm not very definitive today, am I?
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Oh Kindle within us
Guess what I'm a pleased possessor of? Other than that prepositiony-type sentence I used, I also have in my possession--a Kindle!
I got it used (and as a present, what a swell deal!) but in brand-new packaging, and I love it. Very, very much. What else I love? That Amazon offers free books. And that many Christian publishers take advantage of that and post free books. I haven't had to pay for a single book on my Kindle thus far (well, except my Bible, but that's only because I wanted a KJV and they didn't seem to have any free KJVs, silly Amazon), and I've gotten a pretty good collection.
Mostly I'm excited because now on trips I'll be able to pack one Kindle as opposed to eleven or fourteen books. I mean, I love books, and paper, and all of those fun parts, but mostly it's about the words, I guess, and when I can get all my books (plus that dictionary!) on the plane with me in one small package, I'll take it.
Bless my aunt for gifting it to me.
It has some built-in games, by the way, but I always forget how to get to them. Never mind, Alt and M is the magic key. Keys. Whatever.
It's got a zillion features that I don't even understand... I can get screen shots, hear background music (that's one that's worth looking into, but I haven't had time to yet), and make notations in books. All in all, swell. If you're a lover of books who isn't quite sure if you're ready for the switch to digital, take it from me--it's worth it. I still read "real" books all the time, I'm forever at the library and bookstore, but this is handy for travel situations and when you just need something to throw in your purse in case you have a long wait at the bank. I love it!
I got it used (and as a present, what a swell deal!) but in brand-new packaging, and I love it. Very, very much. What else I love? That Amazon offers free books. And that many Christian publishers take advantage of that and post free books. I haven't had to pay for a single book on my Kindle thus far (well, except my Bible, but that's only because I wanted a KJV and they didn't seem to have any free KJVs, silly Amazon), and I've gotten a pretty good collection.
Mostly I'm excited because now on trips I'll be able to pack one Kindle as opposed to eleven or fourteen books. I mean, I love books, and paper, and all of those fun parts, but mostly it's about the words, I guess, and when I can get all my books (plus that dictionary!) on the plane with me in one small package, I'll take it.
Bless my aunt for gifting it to me.
It has some built-in games, by the way, but I always forget how to get to them. Never mind, Alt and M is the magic key. Keys. Whatever.
It's got a zillion features that I don't even understand... I can get screen shots, hear background music (that's one that's worth looking into, but I haven't had time to yet), and make notations in books. All in all, swell. If you're a lover of books who isn't quite sure if you're ready for the switch to digital, take it from me--it's worth it. I still read "real" books all the time, I'm forever at the library and bookstore, but this is handy for travel situations and when you just need something to throw in your purse in case you have a long wait at the bank. I love it!
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