Dear Twilight

Dear Twilight,

I know most people love you, and your many books and movies, but some of us are tired of you. I hope you don't think it's rude of me to admit this, but I'm through. When grown women spend time telling people (who don't care) about why they picked Team Jacob, or Team Edward, it's time to take a step back and realize that you're kind of a time waster.

Not to mention the fact that since all the books have been written, these women can't really choose how it ends. I just wanted to point that out.

Also, Twilight, I really wish you'd picked people for your films who didn't look so perpetually unhappy. I realize that since the whole point of your movie and book franchise is, well, dead people, then perhaps you felt like you didn't have a choice, but I think you did. While I've never seen your movies, or read your books, I do bump into you kind of a lot. In fact, Twilight, I see your posters everywhere I go (and that includes all of my favorite bookstores, which feels like kind of a desecration, if you ask me).

When I see these unhappy-looking people you've chosen to portray whatever you're portraying, I can't help but think, "Dude, you obviously need to get saved." "Girl-who-apparently-plays-super-whiny-teenager, you also need to get saved." While I don't doubt that they do need to get saved, I just think it's sad that they look so unsatisfied with their lives. This is why I pray for them.

But that doesn't mean I endorse you, Twilight. In fact, if there's such a thing as publicly not endorsing something, this is what I'm doing.

Also, bumper stickers. REALLY? ON CARS? I feel that there are many more useful phrases I could read on my way home from work, and reading about you was unexpected in a bad way.

So Twilight, this is me, respectfully requesting to not be your pen-pal.

Jo