So, some of us were talking about marriage last weekend (does Monday count as part of the weekend?), and it wasn't one of those "yay marriage" times, but one of those "HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN???" times. Basically, here's what we were wondering: How do people ever get married?
Seriously, how do two people decide that the Lord is telling them without a shadow of a doubt that that other person is absolutely the person for them? Honestly, how does a person get to that place in their life? And on a closer level, how do two people decide that it's an appropriate time to start a relationship at all? I was just reading about Jim and Elisabeth Elliot, and they waited for five years until they thought the Lord was cool with them having a relationship. As crazy and long as that sounds, sometimes I think that I'll have to wait for at least five years, just to make sure I think I know what I'm getting into.
But I'm just jaded. Marriage is something I'm looking forward to potentially being a part of one day (though I may not be, which is fine), and I assume that I'll have times of extreme dislike towards my husband. Isn't that awful? I like to think I'm just practical, but secretly, I think I'm just way more jaded than any 20-year-old should be.
I had a chance to recount this story to someone the other day, and usually once I've recounted a story once, it's out of my system and I'm good and done, but this story is a good one, so I'll tell it again.
The other day I got home from work and wanted a chance to put through some laundry before supper, but I knew my dad was coming home soon, and could see that the table wasn't even set yet. So I as I was flying up the stairs to put my stuff away, I hollered at my brother, "hey, the table needs to be set!" When I came down with the laundry I saw that the table still hadn't been set, and I didn't want to seem like I was getting down on my brother, so I set the table myself. When I came up from the basement after putting through some laundry, I was greeted with the sight of my mom and brother carrying in groceries from the car.
"Mom, how did you rate? I asked him to help me set the table, and he didn't. Why is he helping you carry in groceries?"
(I just want to go on record as saying that my mother is far more worthy of help than I, but I was saying this loudly enough in his hearing to try to drive a point home.)
A blank look came from my brother. "You didn't ask me to set the table, you just said it needed setting!"
I seriously stared at him in... something. My mom just looked at me and laughed and laughed and said that boys were like this, and I should get used to it. And of course I had to laugh as well, because it was rather funny.
But... that's just another thing that frightens me about marriage--being married to an obtuse creature such as my brother. Sometimes I understand why so many woman are staying single these days!
5 comments:
I suppose it's very female to think about these things. As an unofficial spokesperson for the opposing gender, I can say that it never occurred to me that males and females might approach things differently until much later than 20. Like trying to communicate with someone who speaks a different language, it can be very frustrating at times. But bear in mind that God designed it to be this way. Male weaknesses are complimented by female strengths, and vice versa.
it's all true....marriage is hard work, and nothing to be rushed into. but it's a wonderful thing too, at the same time!
i just want to go on record and say to all those single girls who desire marriage above all else in life (not saying you're in that club) and say what every married lady has said. DON'T RUSH IT. it's awesome and cool and all that good stuff. but your life of being single/dating/engaged is such a special time in life and goes by soooo very fast. and then....it's gone! and you have to learn to communicate and love each other even in the crummy times, cuz man, it's forever. =)
Oh, the age-old males-and-females-compliment-one-another point. So true, so true. But as a female, sometimes it's difficult to disern what's going on inside a guy's head!
And Rachel, good point. I must admit, I'm not in the company of those who strongly desire a boy in their life. Honestly? Even dating scares me right now. I love that I'm able to spend so much time with my family and friends... I'm not all that worried about finding that "perfect someone," since I know the Lord is a way better mate-finder than I'll ever be. I don't even want to get in His way, so I'll just stay out of it until He smacks me with that Heavenly 2x4. =)
If it's any consolation, there's probably less going on inside a guy's head at any given timer than you might expect.
I almost made mention of that in my post, and I know guys think it's funny, but it always seems rather derogatory to me to insinuate that guys are capable of thinking absolutly nothing. For some reason that just feels... wrong, somehow. =) But hey, you said it first!
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