Hey there, Delilah

Sometimes I just get upset when I read the story of Samson and Delilah. First of all, Samson was a judge, he certainly should have known better than to be cavorting around like a fool. (Plus, I wish the author of Judges had written at least a little about his judging. I mean, what did he do? How did he act as a judge? Was he less retarded in those twenty years than he was during his woman-hunting days? Seriously...) Secondly, I don't really like stories that end with eyes being poked out, or thousands of people dying. This story ends in both.

Alas, for I make up stories in my head. Honestly, I pretty much can't help it (I can do all things, etc., I know, but this is something I haven't worked too hard to stop. I can't decide if the stoppage of this is actually necessary), when I see someone on the street, or meet someone for a split second, or bless the person who sneezes when I'm grocery shopping, I wonder about them and their life. Do they have a spouse and family at home? Are they caring for an elderly parent? Are they all alone--nobody to care for or be cared by? I just always wonder.

Well, this transfers a tad (uh, tad times 57) to my Bible reading times. For instance, I've got all these fake stories (well, they're not really firmly-implanted stories, so to speak, they're mostly just vague wonderings, like maybe there's something about their life I'd see if I just studied their chapters hard enough) about Jonah, and Job's wife, and Potiphar's wife (actually, I've given up that one, after enough reprimands about it), and Martha, and, well, just about every character you can find in the Bible. I read and I wonder, might it have been like such-and-such? And usually I try not to share my rambling thoughts with anyone, lest it seem as if I'm spreading bad doctrine, but I present them only as things I wonder about (seriously, mrg, I've never been as dogmatic about these things as you think me to be), and sometimes, apparently, even blog about.

So yes, Samson. First, WHAT WAS HE THINKING? I mean, obviously Samson knew what was going on. Delilah would tie him up in different manners, tell him that the Philistines were upon him, he'd wake up, get out of there, and that was that. But he knew that she had the Philistines on her side. Check out Judges 16:11 "If they bind me fast with new ropes, etc." Uh, pardon the obvious, but they? Don't you think that if Samson had a brain in his head, he would have stopped to think "Oh hey, Delilah is conferring with the Philistines on how to kill me, maybe it wouldn't be wise to explain to her how to cut off power to my strength."? But nooo, Samson had to stick around and eventually cave in to Delilah's whining. I don't want to get down on men too hard, but the sheer level of stupidity astounds me. The things men do for love.

Speaking of. I have a theory about why Delilah did what she did (hint: it wasn't for love). Only, it's not a theory, because the Bible clearly shows that she did it for the money. But sometimes when I read this chapter I feel as worn down by the end as Delilah. I feel almost like she didn't really expect a real answer, and it feels like she's almost as sad in verse 18 as I am. "And when Delilah saw that he had told her all his heart, etc." I feel like there must be a prevailing reason as to why Delilah wanted that money. Could it really be that she just wanted it? I wish there was a little secrety verse in there that was all like, "Just so you know, Delilah didn't really want to turn Samson in, but was a single mother and needed to care for her children, lest social services take them away." Clearly, Social Services wasn't an issue in old-timey Gaza, but I always want to make Delilah into not such a bad person, and explain away her greed with a more human side.

But... there's really nothing like that in this chapter, not at all. Samson was just a foolish man who thought he was in love, and Delilah was just a woman with an agenda.

This is just a bad, bad chapter in the saga of humankind.